Mack has been wanting to go to Barnes N Noble to buy a football book. Josh needed to go to the mall for a couple of things, so we told Mack to come with us and we would go to the bookstore on the way home. He happily jumped in the car, and we drove to the mall. About twenty minutes into our walking around the mall, Mack taps my hand and says kind of quietly, “This isn’t what I signed up for.”
I laughed at him and told him we would get to the bookstore soon enough. He looked at me with much disbelief.
Oh how I can relate to his remarks. “This isn’t what I signed up for.” I have thought that many times throughout my life. One of the main arenas this sentiment might rise to the top of my thoughts is in motherhood. I mean, really, if any of us knew all that it entailed, the population would be much smaller because ohmygoodness it is a lot of work. A lot of dying to self. A lot of giving. A lot of laundry.
Just this morning a couple of pastors at church mentioned Moses and how he laid down his staff when God told him to and God changed it to a serpent and then God changed it back to a staff. The staff represented Moses’ income, his identity, and his influence. The pastor asked us, “What is in your hand that you need to give to God so He can use it?” And I know he didn’t mean, necessarily, what is literally in my hand, but it got me thinking along those lines. In a regular week there are lots of dirty dishes in my hands. Groceries in my hands as I put them in my cart and pay for them and unload them and then eventually cook them. Dirty laundry in my hands. Then, clean laundry that I fold with my hands. School books in my hands. Football helmet left in the living room in my hand as I tell Mack the reasons every thing has a place and every thing should be in its place. The steering wheel is also in my hand a lot. Driving kids every which of way for football, for friends, for special classes, for church events, and more. I want life to be simple and calm, but it just isn’t these days. So much to do, so many places to go, a calendar that will not stop.
I want to be sure I am committing all of my work to the Lord. He sees me and is more concerned with my heart than with anything else going on in my life. Am I becoming more like Jesus? More servant-hearted? More giving? More patient? More gracious? More loving?
So this morning I recommitted my work as a mom to the Lord. I asked that He would help me not be so selfish. That he would help me work as if He were right there with me because…hello!, He is.