Month: January 2024

Josh and I celebrated 23 years of marriage on January 27, 2024. We enjoyed time together and a nice dinner at Steak 48. We took a trip down memory lane when I read our 20th anniversary post here:

https://kristydorminy.com/2021/01/27/20-years/?amp=1

We did a little updating and adding a word for each year to catch us up to 2024. It was fun and pretty easy to boil the years down to their own word.

Anniversary words

2021––SEARCHING (for university for ruby, for answers to Mack’s health issues and a new school for him, for the truth about Covid and vaccines as Josh got very sick with it, for sanity bc the world seemed to have gone mad)

2022––CHANGE and INDEPENDENCE (Ruby graduated and left home for college, Mack started new school by himself, & Molly started her senior year without siblings)

2023–– SPIRITUAL WARFARE—(personal parenting challenges as we helped teens navigate a big, scary world, Josh serving on our Pastor Search Team for most of the year and feeling like we were in a battle for the future of our church…words aren’t enough to convey the heaviness of this year)

2024–to be determined!

I’m so grateful for our marriage. It is such a gift. I pray for 60+ more years with Josh.

And just in case anyone thinks sticking with one person for many years is boring or lacks in excitement and intimacy—-that’s a big lie. The way the years build and how you get to know one another and forge an amazing friendship is something special. Very special. Keep going!!!

The girls left this morning to head back to Liberty. They were excited to go and get back into their routine and see all of their friends. The start of a new semester is always a fun time.

Many people ask how I do with them leaving. And I have to say—It’s kind of tricky to answer succinctly. If I’m brutally honest, I am happy for them and I am happy for me. It’s a natural season of life that kids leave the home—whether college or marriage or a career. If they wanted to just stay here, we would have a problem.

As a mom, it’s nice to be needed.

Aaaannnnnd—it’s nice to not be needed. Ya know?

For some moms, my “happy to see them go” attitude will be mortifying. But if I share the truth, then maybe another set of moms won’t feel so alone in being “happy to see them go.” I am always happy to see them come home—don’t get me wrong. It’s just time for them to get back into their own little worlds and do all the quirky things they like to do. It’s time for them to use their own washer and dryer and eat on their own schedule. To stay up late in their own living quarters. Among other things.

And let me be clear—the feeling is mutual. These girlies were ready. And I’m proud of them flying out there in the world, maturing and growing and learning so very much about how to take care of themselves. It’s going to be a great semester!! Second semester for Molly and Fourth semester for Ruby!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

On one of our end of the year walks, Josh and I were discussing the New Year and any words or goals we wanted to focus on. I wasn’t sure I had any major re-hauls for my life to tackle and a word for the year wasn’t coming to me, so I threw out the word “endure.” I felt a bit like—I think I just need to keep on keeping on. But Josh challenged me to welcome a mind shift and choose a word like “pursue”—a going after something vs. staying under something. We have been in an enduring season for like 6 years😵‍💫

I’ve given it some thought and think he is right. Yet I shrink back from thinking I can do something big or significant. I’ve actually been on quite the journey (ie. 23 years as wife and 19 years as mom) of learning to value a hidden life and to have God’s perspective on the mundane, boring but necessary, seemingly small things a mom has to do. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, picking up drycleaning, feeding the dog, cleaning toilets, making doctor appointments, training kids, etc….over and over and over again for over twenty years. So the shift to actually pursuing something big is leaving me wondering what exactly that looks like.

So when I read John 15 on New Year’s Day, I was greatly helped. Jesus is speaking:

“I am the vine; you are the branches. He who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”

“My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be My disciples.”

“If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love.”

“This I command you, that you love one another.”

The answer to ‘what do I pursue’ became crystal clear to me. Instead of wondering if I should pursue going back to school, pursue getting a job, pursue looking for something big to pursue or any other thing like that, I am to pursue Him.

Pursue God. Pursue People. That was my answer.

How exactly do I do that? Well, His Word reminded me that staying near to God, connected to Him happens through reading His Word, confessing my sins, praying, worshiping Him, staying sensitive to the Spirit of God in my life. This is what brings much fruit and glorifies God. I was reminded that loving people brings God glory, too. So what better way to invest my energy than abiding in Christ and living by the Spirit, which should produce a love for people.

Maybe you’ve felt some pressure to come up with a grandiose New Year’s resolution or some goal. I’d like to give you permission to simply stay connected to Jesus. He will take care of the fruit. He will let you know if there’s something big to do….and He may just help you see that a lot of the small things are indeed the big things.

Happy New Year!