Month: March 2022

It’s March 30, 2022. I am 45 today. As I walked into the sitting room with my coffee in hand, I spot several cards on my chair—a sweet gesture to show how my family has thought of me and prepared to celebrate me with words, which is my favorite!

Josh scoots out to work. The kids shuffle off to school. And Rolo and I sigh deeply and settle into the quiet morning. She naps on the chair because she has been awake for at least 30 minutes and can’t help but shut her eyes.

I open my Bible and put on my reading glasses. I don’t hide the fact that “Lord, it’s my birthday and I could really use a word from You this morning. Something clearly from You for me.” I don’t normally approach my Bible in this way, but I was feeling sassy on my birthday I guess.

I read Psalm 69, 70 and 71. It was chapter 71 that caught my attention. The subtitle is “Prayer of an Old Man for Deliverance.” I thought it was kind of funny of the Lord to do this, but after I read it, I was so deeply encouraged.

Verse One says, “In You, O LORD, I have taken refuge; Let me never be ashamed.” And I have written in the margin, “Let me finish well.” I was just soberly reminded that a faithful life is of great value when I read Josh’s words of love for me in his card, and he was sure to emphasize the fact that we have a committed and faithful marriage. Our choice to love the Lord and love each other every day is a gift to each other that cannot be overstated. O, Lord, help me finish well.

Verse 5 and 6 spoke to me also, “O Lord God, You are my confidence from my youth. By You I have been sustained from my birth; You are He who took me from my mother’s womb; My praise is continually of You.” The Lord has been the constant in my life. He created me, He knows me, He helps me, He forgives me, He cares for me, He sustains my life—today and every day up until this day.

Verse 14-16 are so good—“But as for me, I will hope continually, and will praise You yet more and more. My mouth shall tell of Your righteousness and of Your salvation all day long, for I do not know the sum of them. I will come with the mighty deeds of the Lord God; I will make mention of Your righteousness, Yours alone.” I love that line “for I do not know the sum of them.” It’s like saying in regards to His faithfulness and care for me, “I don’t even know the half of it.” I would be face to floor all the rest of my life if I could fully understand and comprehend His great love for me all these 45 years.

So if there is one thing I want to do today, on my 45th birthday, it’s speak up for God. He has been so personal, so good, so kind, so patient and forgiving, so gentle and caring to me. I don’t want to imagine my life without Him. He has “shown me many troubles and distresses” and comforted me through every one of them.

“Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:25-26

My sweet workout buddy, Jenni, gave me the cutest earrings. And my trainer made me do lunges with 45 pounds—I guess in honor of my age! So thankful for health and friends today!

Mack. He’s funny, kind, sensitive, smart, great with words, and he happens to be my favorite 15 year old on the planet. We all laugh more when Mack is around.

I joke that I miss my sweet 9 year old Mack. And I actually do miss him often. But 15 year old Mack is fabulous. He challenges me in so many ways. I think he may have strengthened my prayer life more than any other human. And I love him for that.

I could cry thinking about how time ticks on by with no regard for the moms who just need it to slow down. I remember distinctly the moment Mack was born. I had just thrown up in a bucket at the hospital and told the nurse that the doctor better get in the room because this baby was heading into the world quickly. So many special moments with this guy.

He has been loved by so many from day one. And though having two extra “moms” in his life frustrates him, he knows he has gifts in these sisters.

And even though us parents don’t know much these days, he knows we love him dearly and want God’s best for him. He may have gotten my nose (sorry), but he is Josh made over in most other ways.

Happy 15th Birthday, Mack! You’re so loved.

The kids had a dance last Friday night. Everyone had a great time.

The school year is flying by. Third quarter is almost over, which then sends the kids into their last quarter of the school year. Which means Ruby’s graduation is fast approaching. So much going on around here! Will try to do a better job of posting here….

I’ve been reading in the minor prophets the past few weeks. These men of God are using their voices for God—often shouting, repeating warnings and judgment to come. The people, as a whole, don’t take them seriously. God’s people seem content with what the world offers them. The powerful are unmoved by the call to righteousness and just living; they crave even more power at any cost.

In my Haggai reading I wrote down five things God told His people through Haggai the prophet:

1- Consider your ways (1:5).

2- I am with you ( 1:13).

3- Take courage (2:4).

4- Do not fear (2:5).

5- But what did we have in common (2:17)?

I was particularly struck on #1, “Consider your ways,” for most of the day. I asked the Lord to help me consider my ways. 

Consider—really think about, dwell on, devote mental energy. 

Your—not my kids’ ways, not Josh’s ways, not teachers’ ways, not my neighbors’ ways, but MY own ways. 

Ways—the patterns of my life, the activities I put my time and energy into, the people I invest in, what I spend money on or, maybe more convicting, what I don’t give money to, and even my attitude in all of these things and more. I journaled through all of this.

Then, my mind quickly was convicted with #5 when the Lord is asking, “But what did we have in common?” The Lord asked me what in my life reflects His heart? What doesn’t have anything in common with Him? Those must go.

Then, I was up and in the Word the next morning and was listening to praise music and sipping coffee while I opened up my very heavy heart to the Lord. Then, I turned to Psalm 5.

“Give ear to my words, O LORD.

Consider my groaning. 

Heed the sound of my cry for help, my King and my God.

In the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch.”

I am thankful God hears my prayers and understands my groaning, as groaning were most of my praying this particular morning. 

I was also reminded about something G.Campbell Morgan wrote about the words “eagerly watch.” It doesn’t mean I will eagerly watch the Lord after I pray to Him—maybe to see if He works the way I want him to. But it does mean I will “eagerly watch one’s own actions and ways that they may be kept in hearmony with worship and planning.”

“For,” as the next verse says, “You are not a God who takes pleasure in wickedness; no evil dwells with You.”

Again there was that push to “Consider my ways.” 

More prayer.

More groaning.

And I love how Psalm 5 ends-

These words apply to me in Charlotte, NC on this beautiful day in the midst of my exact circumstances. And I immediately prayed and groaned for all the people in harms way in the war in Ukraine. We groan, He hears. We worship and arrange our days and watch our ways; He sees. We take refuge in Him and sing for joy; He shelters and blesses and surrounds with favor as with a shield.

His Word is true and His promises are good. For all His children, everywhere. And I am grateful.