Kristy Dorminy

We get asked often who Molly and Ruby get their singing voice from. And we don’t know. I mean, we know for sure it isn’t Josh.

But what I do know is we moved to Charlotte in August 2016. Ruby was 12, Molly was 11, Mack was 9. We searched for a church here and never felt settled. So in the summer of 2017 we finally joined First Baptist Charlotte after visiting there because a work friend of Josh’s invited him multiple times.

We joined the church when the pastor stepped down to pursue politics. We wanted to be a part of what was next at this urban Uptown church in the heart of our city and only 6 or so miles from our home.

The youth group was not super large. There were several interns and the worship intern kind of asked if anyone wanted to help with leading worship. To my surprise, Molly volunteered!! This kid who had never sang in front of a group before and only had some piano lessons and taught herself a little guitar. Ruby joined in some too and each Wednesday night in a small room after playing Chubby Bunny or some other messy game, they would help lead worship. I was shocked each time.

Fast forward a couple of years, they decided they wanted to go to a local private school, and I happened to see they were holding chapel worship leader auditions, so I made the girls try out. Ruby was so mad. She did NOT want to sing in front of these strangers. But after about twenty minutes, they both came out beaming. They had made it! And they led almost every Thursday for their high school years.

Ruby wasn’t interested in pursuing singing or leading worship really. But Molly was very interested in it. Felt made for it. She tried out for Liberty Collective during college maybe 8 times? And got rejected each time. But she was never deterred!

She had several internships during the summers at churches or camps. One particular church had a man/pastor there who told her she was more of a distraction than a help in worship. He didn’t like her clothes either.

She cried in his office and called me. I told her to get in her car and drive home immediately. They could take the rest of that summer internship and stick it where the sun don’t shine. Josh, however, was calmer and more measured in his advice to her. And she took his advice and stayed put.

I still think I was right.

So imagine my pure joy when we learned more about Low Country Community Church where she got a summer internship that quickly turned into a year long residency! From the culture there to the worship staff and volunteers to the friends she has made, it seems like she is made to be there! I love how the old man’s preferences about what he thought worship should be threatened to squash her youthful zeal and energy for worship Jesus BUT GOD provided this amazing place and these amazing people to be a part of Molly’s story and growth. The encouragement she has received also fills my cup!

So let me share this link of their most recent Worship Night. It’s all good but Molly shares and sings about an hour and ten minutes in.

https://www.youtube.com/live/pFrfhLzCxvo?is=LNgpgzoXXSzGPit8

Click and enjoy!

I do apologize for the extremely long pause here on the blog. The summer just about did me in. I’m beginning to settle into my new HRT regiment, and I have had four consecutive nights of AMAZING sleep. Nevermind the fact that three of the four nights included pizza for dinner. If that was causal, I’m genuinely afraid of developing that habit. But seriously —a few extra pounds may be worth the luxury of sleep. I’ve never in my life had good sleep and with perimenopause entering the picture about seven years ago, sleep has only gotten worse. The whole world looks different after a good night’s sleep. Four in a row?!? I’m a new woman.

But let me see if maybe some photo posts could get me a little caught up. Bear with me….

Josh and I went to the Duke Classic football game. It was fun!

Josh and I went to Virginia for a work retreat. It was beautiful there!

Most of the rest of my photos are of Rolo. This dog is rotten!!

I found a photo of me with the kids many, many years ago. I think it was 2007–the year the iPhone came out and I didn’t have one. Photos were rare, so finding this was sweet. And a reminder that seasons change. If your kids are all under one roof, snap the pictures. And be sure to get in a picture or two! It goes so fast.

Ok—maybe I’ll blog more often? I suppose I should make no promises. But I’m hopeful I will!

We made our way back to our favorite little treehouse in Traveler’s Rest, SC to enjoy the long weekend and celebrate Josh’s birthday which was last week.

It’s tucked away in the woods, and we love the invitation to calm.

We arrived Friday and got settled and drove to Greenville to a bookstore and happened upon a cookie shop, so that was fun.

We were hoping for some relief from the most humid and hot summer I can remember, but that wasn’t the case. It was still quite hot.

We shopped and ate lunch out Saturday after our restful morning and breakfast at the treehouse.

Sweet Josh had Mohs surgery on Thursday, and it was much more invasive than we thought!! So rest was just what the doctor ordered.

We had a little FaceTime with Mack about the first UGA football game. We miss him! He’s doing so good in Wilmington though.

Greenville was fun Sunday night after our dinner in Traveler’s Rest.

No one I’d rather spend time with than Josh. It just gets better and better. And he is my favorite.

We did have quite the storm on Sunday afternoon. The trees were swaying and the tree in the middle of the backporch swayed so much it hit the house, and I was wondering if the whole house was going to crash. I’m a tad dramatic, but it was intense.

This was after the craziest parts. I couldn’t video during the worst because I was planning my evacuation route. Lol.

I am ready to be home mainly because I cannot keep eating😆 but it was a great time away!

Josh and I had a little chat this week about the state of the union of the Dorminy Home. Josh reminded us life is a lot right now, but we are on the same team and will eventually be on the other side of these things—like Rolo’s surgery recovery and my absolutely whacked hormones and sleepless nights. I’ll spare you the details, but it’s been a rough summer. We’re in what I often call, “a rough patch.” I know we will come out of it eventually, though I’ve been given no timetable except that “in this world you will have trouble.”

So as I was sitting outside staring blankly into space and wondering why insomnia is my close companion and asking God how in the world I am supposed to make it through this day, I saw in the distance a leaf floating down to the ground. One lone leaf. One little bit of perspective. It isn’t fall yet. The temperatures are still miserably hot. But fall is coming. The seasons always change.

I was reminded that while we will indeed have trouble, I can take heart because Jesus has overcome the world. Yes it’s a rough patch, but yes God is with us and it won’t be this way forever. It won’t.

Maybe you needed this reminder too?

Poor, poor Rolo! Poor me, too. She has had a ROUGH month or more. It started with not eating. Then upset stomach. Then her fourth heat cycle.

Fourth heat cycle for a dog who is spayed. Things weren’t adding up. All tests came back inconclusive on ovarian remnant. But all signs in real life pointed to exactly that—some of her ovaries were left behind during the spay and they decided to wake up and drive us all crazy (at the exact time my hormones are also driving us all crazy—it’s a fun time in the Dorminy home, let me tell you).

FINALLY, we got her scheduled for surgery to remove any left behind ovaries. The doctor said it all went well, and he found the ovaries and removed the ovarian stump that was starting to be infected.

We picked her up yesterday evening, and she mostly rested in her bed and ate a tiny bit of chicken. Then, we set up a gate and put her bed behind the gate in my room thinking this would keep her near us but not on a bed she could jump off. Except Rolo wasn’t close enough to me evidently, so she whined and whined and whined and tried moving around clanking the cone into the gate. It was pitiful and miserable all at once. So I scooped her up and took her out to pee. Then, I settled her on the couch and settled myself beside her. We finally got a few hours of sleep.

So today is a new day. Hoping and praying Rolo adjusts to the cone and to all the medicine she’s having to take. Such an ordeal for something I thought was already taken care of.

Reminiscent of the newborn stage of life, which I feel like we had pretty much back to back—constant attention to every noise, every bathroom break, every bit of food eaten, every ounce of water drank, every move, every snooze.

I’m exhausted, but this too shall pass.

And I’m hopeful I’ll have my sweet, calm, well-behaved dog back in no time. 🐕‍🦺🐾🦴

What do you mean I carry a baby IN MY VERY OWN BODY for 40 weeks, monitoring every move it makes and how it’s body is developing—along with watching my body change in ways I never imagined —and then I actually give birth to a little (or not-so-little) human being? A living, breathing, moving, crying, pooping, peeing, eating, smiling human being. And then, without even questioning it, I willingly and joyfully give up other pursuits to care for this baby day by day and night by night. I love them. I live for their smiles and laughter. I teach them how to walk, how to read, think, play, make friends. I introduce them to Jesus and how much He loves them. I send them to camps and piano lessons, cheer for their made-up dances, encourage their interests, and listen to their hurts.

Then, they move away—hours and states away for internships turn residencies and maybe a job? And maybe I get to see them every few months.

I miss them.

I always knew they were meant to leave. I just never knew how much of my heart would go with them.

{Post inspired by this photo I keep tucked in my Bible}

{but let me add these so no one feels left out}

Isn’t marriage a funny thing? I mean, besides being a beautiful, God-ordained gift to enjoy, it is definitely a funny relationship at times.

I’ve often wondered about the dynamics between husbands and wives we know. Some couples are so calm and quiet that I wonder if they’re bored at home. And that same couple may think Josh and I need to calm down and assume Josh does everything with intensity and passion, when in reality…well, yes, he does actually.

Anyway, moving on.

Josh and I have had many misunderstandings over the 25 plus years of marriage we have enjoyed. Our most recent one surfaced over the past couple of weeks as Josh decided to join me in sitting outside with coffee in the first thirty minutes or so of the day.

Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with him. But this snippet of time was intended to be for solitude. No agenda. No plan. Just being. Listening to creation waking up. Praying. Or not. Thinking. Or not. But always quiet. Josh, however, likes to talk in the morning more than the evening. So he’s been asking an innocent question, albeit ill-timed—“So what’s your day like?”

Well, this isn’t a calendar check in.

Or he remembers something from work and wants to share it.

Well, this isn’t story time.

And I am torn because I want time with him. I want to hear his stories and share my calendar with him. Just not during this thirty minute or so block.

He has sometimes already ran a mile. And he almost always has plunged into a 42 degree tub of water when I am shuffling my bed head out to the backyard, coffee in hand.

So he is raring to go.

And I am not.

He also doesn’t sit still; he is always moving.

And I am not.

This morning I told him that in the fall I may have to uninvite him to my solitude time—not because I don’t love spending time with him, but because he has misunderstood the assignment.

He laughed about it and saw my points.

But I also must admit that I do the same thing with him at night. It started as newlyweds. See, girls usually equate getting in bed with chatting. Think sleepovers. The bed was not a place to immediately fall asleep—that’s when you were just getting started. Josh, however, definitely equates bed with immediate sleep. And though it hurt my feelings as a new wife, I have adjusted. I still try from time to time to have a chat session with Josh at bedtime, but it still never goes well. And Josh reminds me I have misunderstood the assignment.

Over the years we’ve learned that we don’t have to enjoy the same things in the same ways. Sometimes love looks like encouraging him to go on the run and take a dip in that cold plunge or sign up for the evening CrossFit class or simply go to bed and go to sleep without bringing up something to discuss—even though none of those things sound appealing to me. Sometimes love looks like him letting me sit quietly in the backyard, listening to birds wake up. Or listening while I explain another house project or hearing a song I can’t wait for him to hear—even though those aren’t his favorite things. It’s give and take.

But tomorrow morning, give me my solitude.

The heart wants what it’s fed.

I heard this in a devotion recently and it has stayed with me.

What table are you pulling up to every day? What are you feeding your heart? Your mind? Your affections?

I am embarrassed to admit this, but I was scooting up to Instagram a bit too often and staying too long. I was feeding my heart a steady of dose of noise, restlessness, distraction—I guess that’s why they call it your “instagram feed.” Before long, your heart begins wanting what it’s constantly being fed.

“Ooooh, I want that shirt.”

“Oh wow that is a nice kitchen. My kitchen is old and dated. I need a new kitchen. Maybe I just need a new home.”

A steady instagram feed of “if you workout, you should look like this.”

Or “if you don’t want to workout, just take this shot and you’ll be skinny.”

Ends up if you’re fed new homes, you’ll want a new home. If you’re fed new clothes, you’ll want new clothes. If you’re fed endless fitness transformations, you’ll want your own fitness transformation.

After quite a while of putting off God’s gracious invitation to draw near to Him and shut out this obvious distraction in my life, I finally waved my white flag of surrender…or maybe I saw my screen time notification and wanted to hide in shame.

Either way, I made a decision to delete instagram. It wasn’t serving me well. I don’t run a ministry that needs to get its message out there. I don’t run a business that requires I attain clients through instagram. I know there are amazing resources and godly people on instagram. This is not a post to say “instagram bad.” It’s a post to say I wanted more quiet. I wanted less time on my phone. I wanted time to reflect, to have large chunks of solitude, to create instead of consume. I wanted to train my appetite for something deeper and more satisfying.

So I left my seat at that table and have pulled up to a new one. It’s been refreshing. Well, now it’s refreshing. Those first four days or so were actually quite rough. I was bombarded with negative thoughts. Anxious thoughts. Self-deprecating thoughts. It was wild. I wasn’t sure what was happening or how long this would last. I have since learned this is common.

For so long I had shut off my inner thoughts and tuned in to other people’s thoughts, other people’s lives, other people telling me what I needed to buy, to think, to do. But now, I had more free-thinking time. What was I going to do with it? First, I had to fight the negativity and pray for God’s help. I prayed Psalm61:2, “Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.” I was my own worst enemy and needed God to lift me up and draw me close. And He did. After removing the constant noise of the app, I had time to bring these thoughts to the Lord instead of burying them beneath another scroll.

After the rough days, I started noticing life. I am taking in nature, listening to morning bird songs as I sip my coffee, taking in my husband’s face, taking in messes that need my attention in my house. I have tackled revamping my closet and getting rid of so many clothes and shoes. I organized my pantry (you really should check those expiration dates on your canned goods). I have listened to sermons and listened to silence. I have listened to music and taken naps. The biggest change I have noticed after almost 15 days away from instagram is clarity. As opposed to the muddled mess that my mind was in when I spent too much time on that app.

My heart will always hunger and thirst. Every day I choose which table I’ll sit at. Who will get my attention? What will I choose to notice?

Psalm 81:10 “I, the Lord, am your God, Who brought you up from the land of Egypt; open your mouth wide and I will fill it.”

God has given me a beautiful life. I don’t want to miss it. I don’t want to miss Him.

It’s July 1. I am hoping July will be a quiet month for me. We have had a full last few months, and I am feeling drawn to quiet and calm. To listening more than talking. To praying more than worrying. To no instagram and way less phone in my hand.

One question I have been asking the last few days is, “What am I carrying that God is asking me to lay down?” I have always felt very responsible for my kids. This is fine and dandy at first thought, but over time and in the flesh I can take that responsibility a tad too far. It turns into carrying their fears, their future, their health, their choices, their responsibilities, their growth, their struggles almost as my own.

And well, that’s not good. And I don’t want to carry all of that anymore.

I am learning how to interact with each of my kids as young adults who don’t always want my input or advice or opinion. And when you’ve offered that for many, many years, well…it doesn’t just turn off automatically.

But as I was walking and praying about this area of my life God was asking me to stop carrying, I heard so clearly—

God isn’t asking me to stop caring. He is asking me to stop carrying it as if it was all up to me.

Psalm 68:19 says, “Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.”

I can stop carrying it because God is carrying it all. He is even carrying me. I can continue to care and pray and love without the burden of all of it.

Have you forgotten that old children’s song, “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands”? Well, it is still true and maybe you need to sing it loud and proud right where you are.

None of this is riding on me! Praise the Lord for that truth.

Josh and I planned a trip to see Molly this summer. Then, her work schedule changed, and she was going to be in Guatemala while we were visiting her.

It was too late to cancel our plans, so we went and enjoyed the beach anyway. And got to have a little time with her Sunday night and Monday morning.

Mack and Brooke came with us, too.

Josh and I got engaged on June 10, 2000 right near where we were staying, so we did a little 26 years later pic.

We did enjoy the little bit of time we had with Molly. She seems to be thriving there and learning and growing and making friends. We are thankful!

Rolo had fun at daycare, but there’s no place like home! We both agree with that.