Kristy Dorminy

I remember an old pastor defining greed from a verse or two in the Bible as “more to want.” Being greedy is sometimes sneaky. We keep something we should give away. We want something, give no thought to anything spiritual, and we just buy it. We click on an ad, we peruse Etsy out of boredom. “Add to cart, add to cart, add to cart”—what’s the harm?

I am guilty of greed. And the past few weeks I could tell my greed had a root of restless discontent, and I wanted to figure out why. Why did I find myself looking online at homes for sale in Charlotte? Why did I find myself looking at beach houses we could not afford (not to mention Josh doesn’t even like the beach that much)? Why was I shopping online and curating outfits and trying to find ‘just one more graduation dress option’? Why in the world would I not be UNBELIEVABLY GRATEFUL for this beautiful life God has given me? I have my health. My husband has his health. My kids are all healthy. That in itself is amazing and should keep me grateful forever. Then there’s this beautiful home I get to live in on this quaint street in this beautiful city where my husband has the perfect job for him that he enjoys and gets paid for generously! And my days are spent caring for the house and the family and going to the gym and meeting friends and having friends over and walking my cute little dog and planning for when to see my kids next. I have food to eat a plenty. And plenty of clothes and shoes to last me the rest of my life.

So I just decided to tell myself to stop it. Stop being greedy. Stop looking for what’s better and stop wishing it could be yours. Stop being ungrateful.

And start being grateful. I used my words to express my gratitude to God for all of His provisions. I told Josh how grateful I am for his hard work and provision for our family and asked his forgiveness for being a greedy wife—how discouraging that could be to him. And I started snapping some photos of beauty around me that I am grateful for. And it has felt so good. It gives your mind much more room for things that actually matter! And isn’t that just what the enemy wants to do? Clutter our minds with temporal things and desires so we don’t put our mind’s attention and heart’s affection on eternal things. I hope you will fight back when you sense discontent and greed creeping in to strangle gratitude out of your life.

I Timothy 6:6-8 “But godliness with contentment is great gain…if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.”

Hebrews 13:5 “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for He has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’”

Psalm 23:1 “The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.”

Proverbs 19:23 “The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied.”

Luke 12:15 “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.”

Psalm 73:25-26 “Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is nothing on earth I desire besides You…”

Amen.

I thought we had appointments with sun, warmth, laughs as a family, sharing updates of our lives, good rest and restoration. But that’s not what happened. 

Instead, the underside of my pinky toe had an appointment with a sharp branch that took all the protective skin off and left me limping and bandaging it up and wearing tennis shoes the entire time. The sun missed the memo, as did the warm temperatures, and we spent most of the time on the beach in sweatshirts and using extra towels as blankets. I won’t even start on the many ways the hotel fell short. It was comical by the end of the stay. 

Not having these “appointments” left me grappling with disappointments galore. It was like I couldn’t shake myself out of feeling like the whole shebang—our effort to plan this time, pay for this time, prepare for this time, look forward to this time, and did I mention pay for this time?—was a colossal waste. 

Disappointment can be a doozy to deal with. Some of my disappointment is more like grief. Grief that certain things are no longer the way they used to be. Some grief that the way I thought it might look isn’t how it actually looks. Our family is changing and each person is growing and maturing in their own way, on their own path. The girls are about to live apart for the first time since Ruby went away to college her freshman year. Molly joined her the very next year, so they have enjoyed close proximity, and they know it’s been like stolen time. But this summer, things change. Mack will be coming home for the summer—an adjustment for him and us parents.

There used to be simpler times when we shared our lives more easily and freely. Time and distance are barging in and there’s nothing I can do about it. 

It’s totally normal for families to change. It’s good and right. But that often includes tensions, awkward conversations, even healing conversations,unmet expectations and giving each person room to become who they are meant to become. 

So I have to admit that yes, I had expectations of this trip that were not met. But I also have to admit God is sovereign over all of that and had His own expectations for this trip, and I’m listening to Him. What does He want me to learn? What is He asking me to notice about my family? How is my role changing and what new role am I supposed to take? Do I really believe He cares about all of my thoughts and feelings and disappointments? Can I tell Him even the seemingly shallow thoughts that roll around in my mind? Does He have a path forward for me after I’ve pouted and been a brat? Does He understand my griefs and hurt feelings even though to others it seems to fall flat? 

One thing I heard clearly was from my Bible reading (that’s where the clearest communication from God is, after all) 

I Peter 4:8 says,

“Above all, love one another fervently. For love covers a multitude of sins.”

Here’s how The Message translation puts it:

“Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything.”

So if I left our little trip asking what to do now, then I got some instruction…Love deeply. 

Relationships take work and effort and lots and lots of grace and forgiveness. 

I’ll share some fun photos from the trip. But just let them be a reminder that pictures you see (especially scrolling through Instagram) don’t ever tell the full story. There’s sometimes fuller joy you can’t see. More authentic intimacy you don’t pick up on in a photo. Or hard conversations taking place in the background. Hurt feelings. Disappointments. This is also called LIFE. 

We had dinner after attending a Good Friday service at Mack’s church.

One of many Boombalatti trips!

We went by Mack’s apartment

Easter baskets for the kids

The girls and I sat outside and talked before they left for Virginia. It was a healing convo we all needed. Well, at least Ruby and me. lol. (Just kidding, Molly)

I missed them immediately

The rest of our time on the beach can be summed up with this photo:

Here are some treasures I brought back from Wrightsville Beach—and lots more treasures in my heart I’m still sifting through.

But can someone remind me to only go to NC beaches in July?🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣I need the warmth and sun only!

One night that did not disappoint was the last night when we attended Mack’s baptism. We are so happy to see Mack walking with the Lord.

We love Mack and are praying God pours wisdom into Mack’s life and gives him clarity of purpose as He walks out his life in the Lord!

Got him a new bible for the occasion!

Hope everyone’s April is off to a great start🌺🌷🌹🌸🌼🪻🌸💐

We made plans to gather for our last Wednesday morning bible study, Body&Soul by Lisa Whittle. Some of us made more sneaky plans than others, so imagine my surprise when I saw birthday cakes for me and for Emily and gifts galore making their way into the house! Sneaky, creative girls!!

These were no ordinary cakes. A delicious almond and buttercream icing cake for Emily and an amazing homemade cake by Nicki for me. Evidently they figured out I like apples and pecans, so Nicki made up her own recipe with home made caramel and icing and toasted pecan and it was DIVINE. I’m not exaggerating. Josh’s words when he tried it? “This is in insane.” It was seriously so good and made with so much love and creativity I cannot even begin to tell you!!

I had intended to talk about our last week of homework and mainly wanted to focus on the love of God. He loves us so very much. Lisa was asked by a friend, “When is the last time you felt loved by God?” And she said it took her way too long to remember and have an answer to that question.

I spent a long time thinking about how I would answer that question too. Sometimes, and quite unfortunately, I can see other people’s lives and think God loves them more than me. Or at least He seems to have shown it to them in very personal ways.

And yet. I know how ridiculous that sounds. Of course God loves me and has shown me in a million ways. It’s just that I can way too easily focus on why God probably doesn’t want to help me, or I just feel like I’m overlooked by God and my concerns just aren’t worthy enough for His attention. All lies, and I know that.

So we were going to read Psalm 103 and focus on verses: 14-17.

“For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust. As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more, And its place acknowledges it no longer. But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, And His righteousness to children’s children,”
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God has such great love for His children. It lasts forever and ever and ever.

I bought a lot of flowers for us to make our own bouquets as reminders that flowers are beautiful but they are temporary. They won’t last, but God’s love for us will last. We can always count on His love.

And we did make bouquets but not before each of my friends spoke such life and love into my heart. They shared what they love about me and what they pray my next year looks like. And then we all got to do that for Emily, whose birthday is Friday. It was so, so special. And what a tangible way to be the love of God to us!!!! That time was way more effective than any devotion I could have shared! As my friends spoke life into me with such loving words, it was like God was saying “yes” in my heart to all they were saying. God loves me, and He showed me through my friends.

And then the beautiful creations they made were amazing!! I loved sending them out with something they can look at and enjoy for the beauty the flowers give. But as they begin to wilt and lose their color and life, I pray they remember what never wilts or loses its life is the love of God. It truly is from everlasting to everlasting.

The day could not have been any more sweet. Thankful for friendships God has given me here in Charlotte! One of my friends brought me a birthday balloon on Wednesday morning because she remembered me sharing that when I turned 40, I was new to Charlotte and had no friends so I bought my own 4-0 balloons and had my kids take my picture. Lol! Sort of sad, but what a difference 9 years and a faithful and loving God can make! The answer to “when’s the last time you felt loved by God?” is fresh on my heart.

Just dropping in to document Mack’s last teen birthday! Cannot believe our “baby” is in his last teenage year. We enjoyed the weekend shopping and eating and celebrating him.

He’s had a great year and is growing spiritually which is a blessing to my heart!!! It’s hard to not place most of my focus for Mack on productivity and academics—both important parts of life to be sure —but without a strong spiritual foundation, it’s just hay and stubble. Thankful for the foundation God is laying in Mack’s life.

(Side note—I’m always 30 years ahead of Mack. I brought him home on my 30th birthday! So that means I’m in my last year of my forties now. Wowza!! Crazy how time flies.)

How many birds sitting on my kitchen window sill will it take for me to fully grasp how much I’m cared for by my Heavenly Father?

I found the blue one in a boutique yesterday. $4.99—a small price for what serves to be a daily reminder to “consider the sparrow.”

“You cannot serve God and wealth. For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭25‬-‭27‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

There’s a gracious plenty that tempts me to worry, to try and control or manipulate a situation rather than to trust God fully and wholly. Three kids—two about to graduate and move into a new, unfamiliar season. One moving back home this summer. All three growing and maturing at their own pace and in their own ways. It can keep me in a constant state of worry. What if they can’t find a place to live? What if they aren’t ready? What if the internship is a flop? What if they meet their spouse? What if they don’t? What if they have a car accident or car trouble all those miles away? What if they hate it there?

I’ve seen people wearing hats or shirts that say, “What if it’s wonderful?”

Somehow that is not the first or hundredth “what if” question that comes to mind for me. I wish it were. I’m trying to move it to the top forty, so that’s progress!

But the bottom line is that God cares for them so thoroughly, so perfectly. He is good. He isn’t asleep. He doesn’t need me to figure anything out. He’s inviting me to trust. To pray. To not worry. To pray some more. And to expectantly look for Him at work through provision and presence.

Because truly, with Christ, it’s bound to be wonderful.

Trusting Him to give me eyes to look for His wonderful working power in all of the circumstances that tempt me to worry.

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭33‬-‭34‬ ‭NASB1995‬‬

The girls just wrapped up their Senior year Spring Break. We got a house in Pigeon Forge and some DollyWood tickets and set off for a fun few days. Oh and lots of groceries. Lots.

The weather took a cold turn for most of the country, so I shouldn’t complain about a little snow but I definitely did complain about the snow. I hate winter. But thankfully it didn’t last long. Josh and Molly exercised in the freezing weather on the extremely steep driveway.

Dollywood was fun! It brings back so many memories of when the kids were little. They loved that place. And still do! Josh and I loved that busy season of younger years, but we knew things had shifted when we wanted coffee and to find a place to sit and listen to live music. lol. And that’s what we did!

Thankful for the time away and thankful we could be a part of another Spring Break! Next year it’s Mack’s turn!☀️

Mack’s Spring Break was this past week. He had some appointments that had to be taken care of this week, so unfortunately he didn’t get a trip to the beach. Considering he lives on the coast, I didn’t really feel too terrible for him. And he still has a few years where we can plan some fun trips on his breaks.

We enjoyed having him here. He slept. He ate. He rested. He saw some friends. He enjoyed chill days—besides the appointments and besides my list of to dos that he said I had a lot of. I promise I just needed him to go get an emissions test done. That got done on Friday afternoon, and I am super thankful he obliged.

Molly came home last Monday and stayed a couple of nights. She wanted to see Mack and pick up some dresses for a wedding she is singing in this weekend. I am so glad she made the trip. I always enjoy having her around. She even played and sang for my Bible Study group.

We all three went to the gym on Tuesday afternoon. I enjoyed having them there with me!

Let me end with a picture of my baby Rolo. I still have her following me around! She cracks me up. Like a little person. So sweet!

On Wednesday, we gathered. It was a special gathering because Molly was home and agreed to play a couple of worship songs during our time. It was so sweet! She sang “This is How We Remember” and a song she wrote. I wish I had taken more photos but I didn’t! Just enjoying the moment.

This week we discussed our homework which was all about Jesus’ crucifixion. We discussed how His body broken for us covers all of our sin and daily struggles. We were challenged to take communion with the “whole body theology” in mind—reminding ourselves that the struggle we have about our body isn’t silly or petty or too small to take to the Lord. His sacrifice covered all of that.

We were also reminded through our group conversation that Satan hates our bodies and wants us to hate our bodies. Mainly because our bodies house the living God!! And that’s what we will study this coming week—the Spirit alive inside us.

But as we reflected on Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, I was soberly reminded that living in my body means so much more than what it weighs or what size jeans I wear or if I can put off aging. I don’t want to spend my life working on my body like it’s a project, but rather living well in my body so that I bring glory to God!

This week we gathered around some store bought blueberry muffins and extra large green grapes and some strawberries—and tea! Always tea.

The week of homework we were discussing was all about the incarnation—Jesus as fully human. And fully God. Not exactly easy to grasp.

Colossians 1:15, 19 “He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all Creation……For it was the Father’s good pleasure for all the fullness (deity) to dwell in Him,”

Hebrew 2:17-18 “Therefore, He had to be made like His brethren in all things, so that He might become a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For since He Himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted.”

Lisa Whittle, the author, is presenting us with the beautiful reality that God took on flesh. He came through a birth. He was a vulnerable baby and grew and matured as a man. He was tempted, yet never sinned. Never. He can relate to us. He came on purpose with intent and a willingness to be our Savior—and all that it entailed.

Lisa says, “…we may think, ‘He came to save our souls, but we are on our own with our migraines.’”

Isn’t that the truth? Sometimes we don’t even pray about the “little” physical ailments or body image struggles we face because we think we should not struggle with these things—they’re silly or we are dramatic or God just has bigger things to deal with than our struggles. But that is just not true. He promises to never leave us or forsake us. He has been with His people from Creation to the tabernacle, the Temple and then the incarnation and He gave us the Holy Spirit when he ascended back to the Father and He promises to be with us in eternity. He is WITH us always and forever. He cares about our body.

We spent time reading some specific times in the New Testament that Jesus met people where they were in their physical need. He “took her by the hand” in Matthew 9 when He raised a girl from the dead. He laid His hands on them in Luke 40, He ate and drank in Luke 22, He washed feet in John 13, He cooked and ate in John 21, He looked at the woman who had touched His garment and got healing from a 12 year issue with blood in Mark 5. Jesus lived and loved in His body—using His hands and feet, His mouth and eyes and He had feelings! Jesus set the example and showed that the purpose of our body is NOT to be the strongest or prettiest or youngest or smallest or smartest, but to love and serve others in our body. This doesn’t mean we won’t do things to keep our bodies healthy and feeling good. This doesn’t mean getting facials or coloring your hair is a sin. But it definitely means these aren’t the goal of living in our bodies.

Thinking about the humanity of God in Jesus for the week was deeply moving. Jesus poured out His life as He lived in His body on this earth. He gave us a beautiful example to follow in how He served people with humility and graciousness and deep love. How much time do I spend thinking about my body in light of how it looks or the shape or how to keep wrinkles away or what others think of my body versus thinking about how my body can be used to love others? It’s worth thinking about and praying about.

I gave out some cute pairs of socks—asked the girls to think about Jesus putting on socks. I mean, such a very human thing to do. And a reminder to be the feet of Jesus as you walk around in your body!

So we have studied the Image of God, the Incarnation, and this week it is Jesus’ Crucifixion. More to come…

Today was our second gathering for Body & Soul by Lisa Whittle. I got the coffee and tea and treats ready. And I set out some small mirrors for their purses—a reminder that they’re made in the image of God. We look at ourselves not to idolize our bodies or ignore our bodies, but to image or “mirror” Jesus to others.

That’s what our week of homework was all about. What does it mean to be made in the image of God? I can answer that question better now than before we started our study.

Lisa teaches that we are made in the image of God 1) to have relationship with God, 2) to represent Jesus to others and 3) to resemble Jesus by becoming more and more like Him through sanctification.

The image of God isn’t about height or weight or jeans size or age or health or abilities. And that should be freeing!!!!

We were asked to share our “body story.” Just the history of how we’ve felt about our body over our lifetime. I’m sure it’s not every woman’s struggle, but many of us have felt the tension between being “fearfully and wonderfully made” and not measuring up to culture’s standards of beauty. I grew up when skinny was in and straight hair was cool. Well, I lost on both accounts from the world’s perspective. I fought these curls and tried to hide these thighs as much as possible! But the study challenged me to find the good in the parts of my body I’ve picked apart over the years and to bring glory to God in this very body by how I connect with God, how I represent Him to the world and how I resemble Him more and more over the course of my life.

I wore this shirt today. It says “slow down, you’re doing fine.”

I’ve been reminded in this season of my life and in this study that God is a good, patient gardener. He isn’t in a hurry as He helps me see things from His perspective. He faithfully and sometimes painfully pulls out weeds of sin in my life. He plants the good seeds of love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness and self control in my heart and waters and tends to them. He invites me to participate with Him in my sanctification. There are things I need to do. There are things only He can do. I don’t need to get frustrated that I’m not farther along in this body image stuff—God is patient and good. We will get there in time! In the meantime I want to enjoy the life He’s given me! I want to have relationship with Him. I want to represent Him well and I want to resemble Him more and more! What a gift to be made in the image of God.