Crazy Cat Conversations

This morning started very calmly.  It’s Friday, it’s April, so we aren’t “up and at ’em” in the schooling department.  Instead, my kids have had breakfast (Cinnamon Toast Crunch in a ziploc bag while watching a movie), and I have enjoyed coffee and my time in The Word quietly and uninterrupted in my room.  Everyone then got ready for the day, I cleaned out more of Mack’s clothes and toys, did some laundry and then decided that it was a good day to travel down to Hobby Lobby to find the plain orange t-shirts my girls need for a choir recital in May.  Oh and since we’ll be out around lunch, we were planning to stop at Wendy’s (only the best nutritional food for my family!).

Enter UNWANTED CAT IN MY GARAGE.  The kids be-bopped out into the garage and then said, “Oh, Mom, there’s a cat in here!”

What happened after this was a bit dramatic–there were tears and some screaming and running.  I am sure it had nothing to do with how I pulled each of them back into the house saying, rather loudly, “GET IN THE HOUSE, CLOSE THE DOOR, GET IN THE HOUSE, CLOSE THE DOOR!!!!!!!!!”

See I have this thing with animals….it’s not just cats, so don’t put me in the “cat-hater” category.  My category is more like, “I don’t hate animals, but I don’t like them or want them–ever.”  There is a difference.

After securing the door and making sure the kids knew that we were going to be ok, I started thinking about HOW I could get this cat out of the garage.  Actually, I kind of assumed the cat ran out once the garage door went up.

I was wrong.

I saw white furriness sitting in between two boxes on the other side of the garage.  I “shewed” at it.  You know–I said, “Shew!  Get out of here.”

It didn’t move.

I threw a notebook in that general direction just to scare it out.

It didn’t move.

I got my broom.  This invoked some more drama.  Ruby said, “NO, Mama.  Don’t go back out there!!!”  Molly got quiet and cried pitifully.  Mack wanted to come with me.

I poked my broom through the boxes to move the cat out.

It didn’t move, y’all!

I elicited some facebook help. Let’s see….I got advice like keeping it as my own (in complete sarcasm from a friend who knows better), water gun, beebee gun, or hand gun, and putting tuna out in driveway for it to be lured out.  I thought about the tuna thing for about a second, but then I realized that in my book food=friend, so the cat might think that way, too….and the cat would be way wrong.

Then, a friend said to tell Mack that “sometimes cowboys have to wrangle cats.  Put him in boots and turn him loose!”

I passed this along to Mack, and you wouldn’t believe the confidence that rose up in him.

“OH, YEAH!  But ‘cept I have on shorts.  I need to go get on jeans and my boots and then I’ll get out there and wrangle that cat…..Besides, I’m brave.”

Ruby, in a panic, says, “Mack, You will not go out there.  You will not wrangle that cat.”

He is steady walking up the stairs saying he can do it because he is a cowboy.

Ruby hollers, “No, Mack.  That is just the dumbest thing.  That cat could kill you.”

His reply?: “That’s ok.”

Ruby then says to me, “Well, if he gets killed, it’s his own fault.”

I am laughing hysterically inside at this point.  I told Mack that maybe he should wait for Dad to get home so that they can be a team.

Mack didn’t really like that idea.  He was ready for action.  He said he could take his rope and swirl it around and wrangle the cat that way….OR….(this is a bit violent…don’t know where he got this from) he said, “I can take a knife and do like this” —-he motioned like he was sticking a knife in the cat and made a noise like “GGKKKSSHHHHH!”

Oh me oh my.

So even though the cat stopped us from our outing and forced us to have lunch at home, we did have some excitement and humor around here.

Josh’s input went something like, “Just go to the store.  The cat won’t do anything more between now and when I get home.”

Men are simple thinkers.  If I could get to my driver’s door without envisioning the furry critter pouncing on me with his claws out then I might consider leaving.

I’m such a wimp.





3 thoughts on “Crazy Cat Conversations

  1. Oh, you didn’t cat you meant Sumatran tiger. That is why you screamed and ran in the house and why now Ruby was scared for your life. I was thinking cat…like furry little 4 lb animal. Glad this is all cleared up.

    (By chance if it wasn’t a tiger and it actually was a cat like a C-A-T, cat, we may need to start some one on one counseling for irrational fears. Ha! Ha! )

    1. However, you did give me a good laugh for the day and I can always find your blog to be entertaining. We sure hope to see you all in July and please give my love to your family. I love and miss you all so very much. Rejoice, Aunt Pep

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