Category: Uncategorized

My sweet Molly text me to say I should blog. I looked back to see my last blog was from July 25th! Yikes.

Life has been happening and at a quick pace. The girls each came home and then moved back to college. Mack went to Utah for a mission trip. Then he started his senior year and has been playing lots of football. He has late start and doesn’t have to be at school until 9:10am most mornings, yet he still struggles to get up and get moving.

Josh and I finished up a couple of home projects this summer. And he’s been working a lot and has a few hunting trips this fall he is looking forward to.

I’m just doing all the wife and mom things. Grocery shopping, cooking, doing laundry and running errands of all sort. And taking care of my shadow, Rolo. I joined a new gym and Josh and I go together about four times a week, which we’ve really enjoyed. And I take a couple of morning classes each week.

I think a little photo dump with short explanations might be enough to get us caught up here and then MAYBE I can be more consistent in my posting. Maybe.

She is our little baby. We love her.

These are just some random photos from when we moved Molly in her dorm and then some pics the girls have sent me.

Ok, well that sort of gets us up to speed. I’ll be better at writing more consistently!!!

After my visit with Molly in Ohio, I felt like I owed Ohio an apology. I wasn’t expecting much, but it was actually beautiful and not crowded anywhere we went. I loved seeing Molly at Camp Carl and meeting her new friends! Here are some photos:

Had a great 4th!

The rodeo was super fun! Just a great day overall!

Josh and I found a pretty walking trail Friday morning.

Then we went back to camp and got Molly’s car to wash it and gas it up and also did her laundry! took her friends to dinner Saturday night. Such a fun time.

Ohio—Camp Carl—you were so much fun and just beautiful! Hope we meet again💕

John 2 was read at our wedding back in 2001. I always perk up when I hear teaching on the wedding in Cana, where Jesus’ first public miracle happened.

Last week when I was listening to The Collaboratory podcast, and she was reading John 2 from several translations, I was all ears. I love how she is reading a passage multiple times from different translations. The Lord really uses this to speak to me.

I was reminded of many truths in my listening and was particularly struck by the podcast’s host saying: “When you serve, you see.”

She focused in on the servers at the wedding. Mary, Jesus’ mom, had looked at them and told them to do whatever Jesus said to do. She meant business.

So the servers, who were behind the scenes and moving throughout the crowds to serve the guests, did what Jesus said to do. They filled ceremonial cleansing pots with water. Full to the brim. Not knowing why exactly. And that was no small amount of water. It would have taken time and effort and diligence. They were there when Jesus miraculously turned all that water into wine, though it doesn’t say they tasted it. It says they took a cup of the new wine to the head waiter to drink. This was an act of faith! He tasted and was astonished at how good the wine was. The wine is usually best at the beginning of the wedding and gets less impressive as the night goes on and guests are maybe not able to tell.

But the guests all could tell that this wine was really, really good.

The servers had the inside scoop though. They knew what Jesus had done. They were acquainted with The Source of the goodness. These servers saw what others did not. John 2:9 says, “When the headwaiter tasted the water which had become wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the headwaiter called the bridegroom.”

Those words in parenthesis pack a punch.

I had a thought about motherhood in this moment. I’ve been thinking about my kids’ summer. Each one is in a different place, doing different things with different people. Yet, they’re each living with purpose. This brought my heart great joy because I know the amount of time I have spent praying that my kids would walk in the purposes of God for their lives. Usually I’ve prayed these prayers alone….I have spent countless miles walking our neighborhoods—here and in Georgia and anywhere my feet found me—praying that they would walk out the steps God has for them in this life, which got me thinking about how much of the work of a mom is often hidden—in the parenthesis, if you will. A mom often serves her family in a million ways the family doesn’t see. But they experience the goodness of her hidden work.

The fresh, clean towels they grab from the stack.

The clean underwear they pull out of their drawer.

The hot meal on the table.

The family enjoys the physical work of her hands.

They also enjoy the spiritual work of her heart.

This is why I think I’m so overjoyed with how the summer is going for our kids. Knowing all the hidden prayer times, the groans only The Lord understood as I asked Him to fulfill His purposes for their lives. And here they are all in a season of doing just that. And I’m so happy about it because I see how well they’re each doing…how much joy they have, how their confidence is growing, how God is using them in very personal ways, redeeming the past in sweet ways, deepening friendships, maturing their faith and so much more.

But an even deeper sweetness comes from knowing The Source of the goodness being poured into their lives and out through their lives this summer. I know The Source because it’s the same Source who has poured into me and listened to me as I’ve poured out my heart to Him on their behalf. Jesus is The Source. My version of the verse could read “(but the mom who had prayed to God for and served her family knew)….”

Moms, I know so much of your work is hidden. The way you serve your family is often taken for granted or maybe seems lonely. Please know you’re never alone. You have a friend in Jesus. Pour your heart out to Him for your family. Have faith that He is working in His time. The best days are ahead.

Jesus is the miracle worker.

The servers get to see Him work.

Do whatever He tells you to do.

Josh and I took off for Georgia last weekend to see Ruby! It was so good for my heart. She is thriving and loving her summer at Woodlands Camp. Her photographs are so good! She really knows how to capture the kids in action.

We are so proud of Ruby! She’s doing something hard and out of her comfort zone and doing it well! She’s growing and maturing in so many ways. We miss her, but we are so happy for her experience this summer. Only six more weeks now.

I’m reading a memoir by Caroline Knapp entitled, “Drinking: A Love Story.” This section on the alcoholic’s genuine belief that they need the drink struck me, on how their emptiness needed filling and alcohol seemed to do the trick.

Page 60-61: “Most alcoholics I know experience that hunger long before they pick up the first drink, that yearning for something, something outside the self that will provide relief and solace and well-being. You hear echoes of it all the time in AA meetings, that sense that there’s a well of emptiness inside and that the trick in sobriety is to find new ways to fill it, spiritual ways instead of physical ones. People talk about their fixations with things—a new house they’re looking to buy, or a job they’re desperate for, or a relationship—as though these things have genuinely transformative powers, powers to heal and save and change their lives. Searching, searching: the need cuts across all backgrounds, all socioeconomic lines, all ages and sexes and races.”

“Part of this, of course, is culturally determined or, at least, culturally reinforced. The search for a fix, for a ready solution to what ails, has become a uniquely American undertaking, an ingrained part of consumer culture, as prevalent as the nearest diet workshop or plastic surgeon. In some ways alcoholism is the perfect late twentieth-century expression of that particular brand of searching, an extreme expression of the way so many of us are taught to confront deep yearnings. Fill it up, fill it up, fill it up. Fill up the emptiness; fill up what feels like a pit of loneliness and terror and rage; please just take it away now. Our society has become marvelously adept at presenting easy—or seemingly easy—solutions to that impulse; all you have to do is watch enough tv and the answers come, one by one: the right body weight will do the trick. The right house. A couple of beers.”

“I sometimes think of alcoholics as people who’ve elevated that search to an art form or a religion, filling the emptiness with drink, chasing drink after drink, sometimes killing themselves in the effort. They give up liquor, but the chase is harder to stop. This is why you hear people in AA meetings talk about thinking or acting alcoholically long after they’ve put down their last drink. The search for an external solution goes on: I want something. I need something.”

I suppose I was struck by how relatable these words were. I’ve never drank alcohol, and I suppose it’s for very good reason—what if I’d been one who saw it as the answer to the emptiness? A sobering thought for the rest of my days, I pray.

No, my filling hasn’t come through alcohol but I’ve tried lots of things to fill the emptiness. The latest diet trend. The greatest exercise program that’s sure to make my body goals a reality. I’ve had seasons where I thought a new set of throw pillows for my couches would certainly improve my life; I have linen closets full of folded and stacked pillow covers that never seemed to scratch the itch. Not to mention the “dream house” I was sure would make my life complete. Spoiler: it most definitely did not. I could go on, but I think you get the point (and I’d like to spare myself more embarrassment and vulnerability). While items on my list may not appear to be as damaging as alcohol, I’d venture to say they still represent an empty heart looking in all the wrong places to be filled.

It begs the question—is my life consistently shaped by Jesus? Is my heart open to Him and His ways, ready to be filled with His Word and His Spirit?

It’s no coincidence that my Bible plan had me in Ephesians 3:14-21 around the same time I was reading this section from Knapp’s memoir. Here is my prayer for me and for you—-

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses all knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God, Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.”

I want to be filled to all the fullness of God. We all feel the emptiness here from time to time. When we do, let’s be alert to what types of things or people we turn to in order to find fulfillment. There’s only One person who can bring the fullness you crave—Jesus. He emptied Himself by coming to earth to die on a cross for the sins of the world. Let Him work in you for His good pleasure! There is nothing more fulfilling than that.

Raise your hand if you’re in unbelief that it’s already June! 🙋🏼‍♀️

In January I heard this prayer—“This year—only YOU and what YOU are doing, LORD. Amen.”

I wrote it in my journal and on our family chalkboard that I look at everyday. I’ve rolled it around in my head and heart more times than I could count. What would a year look like lived under this prayer? What things might I quit doing? What things might take priority? How would I spend my money? How would I interact with my kids? In what ways would I adjust how I respond to my husband? So many questions and thoughts around this prayer.

I had a list of prayer needs under this prayer written in chalk. And I’ve already seen the Lord’s hand at work in specific ways as we have rolled our concerns over to Him.

Ruby found an apartment for the fall and another room mate, in addition to her current awesome one.

Ruby is thriving at woodlands camp and learning a new skill (photography), making new friends, loving on younger kids, and oh so much more. I’m so proud of her!!!!!!

Molly is settling in at her camp in Ohio. Camp Carl. She is being stretched and learning how to lead well. She’s making new friends and expanding her horizons and getting to lead worship. She drove all the way there alone—that was a big deal. For me anyway.

Mack is starting his senior year of football summer practice along with additional training in football this summer. I’ve seen him grow up a lot over the past year, and I’m very proud of him. So excited for his senior year.

God led us to vehicles the kids needed.

He provided for a Spring Break trip that was so fun for all of us.

He has clarified our summer trips.

He is preparing Mack for a Utah Mission Trip in July.

He has helped me in areas of health and has helped me discern the importance of my place at home in very sweet, personal ways.

I’ve enjoyed resting in His sovereign arms as I bring decisions and potential plans to Him and ask Him to help me. To make things clear to me. To help me see what He sees and trust Him when I hear His voice, no matter what He says.

This summer is so sweet as I see each of my kids living on purpose, using gifts God has given them to love and serve others. My heart is full. Even though I’m missing them terribly, I’m proud beyond words of where they each are these days.

How about some photos from the last month or so?

We traveled to Augusta to celebrate my niece and nephew graduating from high school! So thankful I got to see my sisters🩷 and my dad😊

I took a ton of photos of my yard in May because it was so beautiful!!! And I always have plenty of photos of Rolo on my camera roll. She’s my BFF.

She turned 20 while she was away at camp, and I just can hardly believe I’m old enough to have a two decade old child. We love Ruby.

We said goodbye to Molly and then prayed all day as she drove over seven hours to get to her camp in Ohio. We miss Molly!!

So all in all I just want to say that being in the center of God’s will is what I want—for me, for Josh, for Ruby, for Molly and for Mack. I’ve listened to “The Purest Place” by Christy Nockels a lot this past week. I’ll probably share more about it soon, but look it up and give it a listen. The purest place is where God is and that’s where I wanna be. He brings life and purpose.

Hope your summer is off to a great start!☀️

Sounded like they all had a fun time!

Last Junior Prom✅

Molly had an amazing opportunity to sing a song in convocation at Liberty University. She wrote it after hearing a sermon by Josh Rutledge from 1 John. I was so happy I could be there to hear her and see her. She did great! It’s a powerful song, and I’m so proud of her. Here is the link. She sings at the beginning.

https://watch.liberty.edu/playlist/dedicated/82178501/1_npaqvv7z/1_rg11lvzm

I loved sitting with Ruby. She was a proud sister, and I was so proud of her too.

I was listening to an Active Listening Prayer podcast called The Collaboratory. She was teaching on who God says I am and how knowing Who God is helps me be confident in who He made me to be. She warned against the lies of the enemy that try to discourage.

She asked the listener to imagine we were in our favorite spot and Jesus was there. She led us, in our imaginations, to write down a lie we have believed about ourself. I scribbled on my torn sheet of paper I pulled from my imaginary pocket—“Just a Mom.”

She invited us to give the paper to Jesus. “What does He do with it?”she asked.

She gave options of what He might do with it—maybe He doesn’t even look at it, maybe He throws it in a nearby fire or maybe He swallows it! But before she could even offer these suggestions, I had a clear picture of what He did with my lie that I was “just a mom.” As soon as I handed Jesus the paper, He turned it into balloons that spelled out JUST A MOM. Each letter large and shiny and dancing in the sky.

This was a celebration in His eyes. To say no to other pursuits, other people, and other ways of spending my days and years. Saying yes to three little precious people for many days that have turned into years. Little people who have turned into young adults.

I am grateful to God for the ability to stay at home, the husband who has been only supportive of my role, and the time I’ve had with my kids. And I’m especially grateful for the party balloons Jesus made for me for being “Just a Mom.” I’ll never hear those words the same again.

So this unpacking from the beach all that The Lord packed in my heart has taken longer than I anticipated. Life is full! What can I say?

But if you remember, I was reading Psalm 139 everyday and everyday it seemed a different section stood out to me. I’m choosing to combine the last two days for fear I may not wrap this in a timely fashion.

In Sarah Hagerty’s book, The Gift of Limitations, she shares that the average human has about 6,000 thoughts a day. Now that did not surprise me one bit. My mind is constantly thinking something. It can be exhausting.

Psalm 139:17-18a says, “How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them. If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.”

I asked the Lord to help me understand this verse more as I went to spend a day on the beach with more sand than any human could count. And I asked Him to help me think about things the way He thinks about things. I asked Him for wisdom from Him to be shared with me in many different areas of my life.

And then the next day, no matter how much I really didn’t want to focus on these next verses, I just had a hunch the Lord might bring my attention to them.

“I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works and my soul knows it very well.”

What Christian girl hasn’t at some point in her life written this verse on an index card and taped it to her mirror? The mirror has oftentimes been a bit of a war zone of the mind—thoughts assail me. I carve my shape up, thinking smaller thighs are the key to happiness. Nowadays, it’s embracing a new wrinkle or sun spot on my face and wishing any one of the twelve anti-aging bottles actually would prove true.

The scripture goes on, “My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in secret and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth.”

My frame—the very frame I often despise was made by God with skill. He put my body together just as it is. And that is a very good thing.

So on this morning at the beach while I walked along the shore and looked at all of those little pieces of sand, I asked God to help me think about my body the way He thinks about it. And I thanked God for my strong legs that were carrying me down the beach at that very moment. The way they allowed me to squat down to pick up sea shells. It felt good and right to take in this moment and these thoughts—to be grateful for my legs, the very part of my body I’ve spent lots of time wishing were different.

Then, later in the day, Mack took a photo of Josh and me, and I didn’t delete it upon first glance of my legs. I paused and thanked God for these exact legs and all they’ve walked me through in this life.

And I rolled over these verses from psalm 139–I am fearfully and wonderfully made! And how vast are the thoughts of God unto me! His works are wonderful.

I asked the Lord to keep helping me think His thoughts on all things…even my good frame He made for me.