Category: Uncategorized

On one of our end of the year walks, Josh and I were discussing the New Year and any words or goals we wanted to focus on. I wasn’t sure I had any major re-hauls for my life to tackle and a word for the year wasn’t coming to me, so I threw out the word “endure.” I felt a bit like—I think I just need to keep on keeping on. But Josh challenged me to welcome a mind shift and choose a word like “pursue”—a going after something vs. staying under something. We have been in an enduring season for like 6 years😵‍💫

I’ve given it some thought and think he is right. Yet I shrink back from thinking I can do something big or significant. I’ve actually been on quite the journey (ie. 23 years as wife and 19 years as mom) of learning to value a hidden life and to have God’s perspective on the mundane, boring but necessary, seemingly small things a mom has to do. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, picking up drycleaning, feeding the dog, cleaning toilets, making doctor appointments, training kids, etc….over and over and over again for over twenty years. So the shift to actually pursuing something big is leaving me wondering what exactly that looks like.

So when I read John 15 on New Year’s Day, I was greatly helped. Jesus is speaking:

“I am the vine; you are the branches. He who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”

“My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be My disciples.”

“If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love.”

“This I command you, that you love one another.”

The answer to ‘what do I pursue’ became crystal clear to me. Instead of wondering if I should pursue going back to school, pursue getting a job, pursue looking for something big to pursue or any other thing like that, I am to pursue Him.

Pursue God. Pursue People. That was my answer.

How exactly do I do that? Well, His Word reminded me that staying near to God, connected to Him happens through reading His Word, confessing my sins, praying, worshiping Him, staying sensitive to the Spirit of God in my life. This is what brings much fruit and glorifies God. I was reminded that loving people brings God glory, too. So what better way to invest my energy than abiding in Christ and living by the Spirit, which should produce a love for people.

Maybe you’ve felt some pressure to come up with a grandiose New Year’s resolution or some goal. I’d like to give you permission to simply stay connected to Jesus. He will take care of the fruit. He will let you know if there’s something big to do….and He may just help you see that a lot of the small things are indeed the big things.

Happy New Year!

Words fall short to express what an amazing little getaway Josh and I got to have to end the year. Travelers Rest, SC is a hidden gem! This past summer, in the thick of a stressful time, I decided we needed a getaway, and I made this reservation almost on a whim. I perused Airbnb and happened to find this new spot—a cool treehouse tucked away in the woods. So private and serene, but minutes away from the cutest little town filled with shops and an amazing trail, the Swamp Rabbit Trail. At the time I clicked on “reserve these dates,” I had no idea how much we would need to get out of town. It has been such a sweet few days. The Lord provided, and we are grateful.

We have rested. We have read. We have talked. We have shopped for our home. We have walked so many miles on the trail. We visited Greenville. We have eaten some great food. (Josh learned I’m not a fan of crepes.) We have dreamed together. We’ve planned. We’ve prayed. We have connected and unplugged from distractions. We journaled. We laughed. We sat on the porch in silence and listened to nature. We star gazed right from the little home. Sweet memories were made.

Thank You, Lord, for providing just what we needed. You always do. These two travelers feel rested and refreshed for all You have for us.

Well, I just finished up my sixth year of showing up consistently at my gym. Six years. 72 months. 313 weeks.

There were hard days. Very hard days. There are still hard days, if I’m honest. But I can’t fully express how deeply grateful I am for my health. The past six years have been filled with a lot of ups and downs and so many challenges in my personal life, in family life, in raising three teenagers, in sending kids off to college, and more. I won’t even mention perimenopause and the rollercoaster it has been.

Here’s the thing though—all the challenges would still have been present. The six years, the 72 months, the 313 weeks all would have passed whether I was working out or not. So I’m extremely happy that I made the hard decision to keep showing up. It’s actually not hard to show up anymore. It might even be the easiest part of my week. Showing up is, by far, what has kept me going. I have a time and place and plan when I get there. Tim has been so helpful in challenging me at appropriate levels that kept me going and didn’t let me settle.

But I think the biggest mental shift and help has been coming to grasps with the fact that there is no finish line. Too often we think “when I lose 20 pounds, then I can be happy.” Or maybe we think once we get strong then we can just coast. But that’s not helpful—because moving my body doesn’t have a finish a line. Benefiting from strength will last my whole life!

So here’s to six years and many, many more—Lord-willing!!

Josh and I have the privilege to lead a small group at our church. There are about fifteen or so young married couples, many of which have kids or one on the way. In the group text among the ladies of our group, we were exchanging some photos from the holiday season—photos with Santa among them. I couldn’t help but share a couple of my favorites from years gone by. I’m thankful they let me indulge in this way and add, “I miss these days! Enjoy the craziness!!”

I share that comment at risk of sounding like the older ladies who would tell me how quickly time passes as they watched me wrangle my three. For quite a while this sentiment bothered me. Here I was trying my best to be their mom, be present and care for their every need. I didn’t find their melancholy words—“don’t blink” —very comforting.

But now as a 46 year old mom of three, ages 19, 18, and 16, I understand their hearts. They meant only well. They meant to relay to me how very precious these little faces I was wiping actually were. They didn’t want me to miss a single minute of it because they would give anything for a single minute to hold their newborn baby again or kiss their toddler’s chubby cheeks or hear their tiny voices. I share this photo because it takes me back to this fun day in 2008 at the Christmas Tree Farm. A forever memory etched on my heart. We were present with one another. I’m sure someone cried. I’m sure they fought at some point. But what a sweet day I treasure fifteen years later. In the moment I didn’t know how special this outing was. But now I know.

And my message to my young mom friends is not so much to not blink. Not even to remind you how fast they grow up. But instead what I’m saying is BE PRESENT. Ask the Lord to help you soak in the faces of those you love. Ask the Lord to slow your racing mind of to-do lists and put your phone down and live hands free this Christmas season. It’s impossible to not blink. It’s impossible to freeze time. But we can all be present. It will be the greatest gift we give and receive. Merry Christmas!

It’s no secret this is a busy season. There are Christmas parties to attend, gifts to purchase and wrap, grocery lists to make, cookies to bake, family to host and so much more. It’s nearly impossible to rest. It’s more challenging than I’d like to admit to keep Jesus at the center.

I was bemoaning this reality just this morning as I talked with the Lord. I was asking for help to be able to clear out the distractions and constant noises of this season. In an attempt to clear my head, I wrote out prayers for those on my heart. I was asking God to help them in specific ways, but the crux of the matter was that they each need God to be with them. And the Good News of Jesus is that He is Immanuel, God with us!! Thank You, God, for Jesus.

Maybe you feel the tension of this season. The desire to rest in the Lord and focus on the gift of Jesus, yet your to do list grows by the minute…your heart may be heavy for someone you love…your heart may be grieving and you feel there is little room for the comfort Jesus brings. I pray you can cast all your cares on the Lord, knowing that He cares for you. Knowing that He is with you and He is with the ones you love. It may take quite a bit of effort and lots of prayer to intentionally keep Jesus at the forefront of your mind and heart, but it will be worth it. There is no other thought so comforting, so encouraging, so needed as GOD WITH US. For if He is with us, nothing is too much. Nothing is too hard. Nothing is too frustrating. Nothing is too complicated.

https://youtu.be/HyU5Jg5mGak?si=mTnBVwwOgdbbUqgr

I haven’t blogged much lately. But we have been living a very full life over here. Some things have been fun and exciting. Most things have been mundane and just normal. Like stacking this wood that Josh ordered. He said to leave it and he’d stack it when he got home, but seeing how I was not currently doing laundry or cooking, I went ahead and stacked the wood and was quite proud of myself.

Mack has been enjoying a little reprieve from football practice and games every weekend. He seems to be doing well in school and spends lots of time with friends. He is on a basketball team with some friends, and they won their first game Friday evening.

We didn’t go watch him play because we were at Josh’s company’s Christmas tree lighting and then took Molly and three friends from college to Tacos 4 Life. But he came in with the team to eat so I snapped a pic. The friends rode with Molly so that she could crown the next Homecoming Queen at Carmel. They only spent one night, but I loved having them here.

Molly is finishing up her first semester at Liberty. It has been a whirlwind for her. She jumped in with two feet and has made so many friends and learned so much in just a few months. The amazing experiences at Liberty never cease to amaze me. She changed her major to Worship Leadership; she is very much looking forward to starting that track next semester.

Ruby has had a wonderful sophomore year at Liberty. She stormed the field last night when Liberty’s football team won their conference!

Ruby also already has a job lined up to work at a camp in Georgia this summer. 12 weeks!!! That’s crazy. She will be a camp photographer. I’m excited to see how it goes for her and see how she grows and matures through this. I’m sure she will do a great job and make lots of friends too.

Josh is just working, working, working. And enjoying being done with the Pastor Search he was a part of! We just watched Georgia get beat by Alabama, which is never a great way to end a season, but whatever. He and I have enjoyed extra time together lately. It seems like we find ourselves together and kidless quite often. We love our kids, but we’re not complaining about this new season.

Mack had a Homecoming Dance to go to this evening. He left here to get his date so I didn’t get photos of them together. Here he is looking so grown though:

And while I’m at it, we had a nice Thanksgiving with my dad and Sheila. The food was amazing. Josh smoked a prime rib. Delicious!!!!

We enjoyed having all the kids under one roof. But the week flew by and the girls took off after we got the house decorated for Christmas!

Josh and I also got a chance to go to Georgia last Thursday to see Brooklynn get adopted by Jason and Merrilee!! It was a very sweet day.

Thankful she is with her forever family now!

And now I’ll wrap this random blog up with a few pics of my dog. Rolo has been a trooper lately. It’s usually too cold to walk outside or I’ve just been too busy. She sits at the door looking at me as drive out of the driveway. Her pitiful face stares back at me and I feel like a terrible dog mom!! But she forgives me after a few treats.

Oh and I started Pilates last week. It has been a good challenge for me. I wanted something to add to my strength training that was also restorative. And I think I’ve found a great option for that! It’s so funny how the motive for movement shifts as you get older. Getting myself up from a sitting position is a main goal. Not falling and breaking an arm or a hip if I can help it is another!

I’m almost done Christmas shopping which is super fun for me!!! I have never been this far ahead, but I hope it helps me enjoy this time of year even more. And who knows, maybe I’ll have more time to blog. And maybe something more in depth than photos and updates on life. 😊

It seems ridiculous to make time to rest as we enter the holiday season, but I’m telling you—it’s time to make time to rest for Josh and me. Particularly Josh.

We just closed a defined season that was marked by stress. Therefore, it’s time to enter a marked season of rest. I’m not at liberty to share details on the stressful season, but trust me when I say we are beyond grateful it’s behind us. Yet, without a conscious effort to turn to rest, something or someone else will gladly fill our days with stress.

I’ve reflected lately on how much better I am at managing stress. Not perfectly by any means, but progressively better. Who knows exactly when my body started to turn on me as I internalized stress at the same time I was entering perimenopause….we moved here in 2016 without a friend in sight, we transitioned out of home schooling in 2018, my mom died in 2019, and then the nightmare of Covid in 2020 were probably all contributors. But when I reached out for help from a doctor and found lots of not-good things going on in my body, I realized much of the cause was my terrible stress management. I’ve learned what my body needed in the way of vitamins and Hormone Replacement. I’ve continued with moderate exercise and tried to make improvements in nutrition. And I’ve said no to a lot more than I ever have before. I’ve realized having two or three good friends is a gracious plenty. I’ve embraced times of boredom. I’ve walked more than ever in my life for the sheer enjoyment of being outside and with a grateful heart that I can move my body. I sleep at least seven hours…but manage eight many nights. I just don’t care about people’s opinions of me, how I use my time, or what they think of my family. I’m less and less guided by outside voices and that is a freeing place to be!

And in this season, I want Josh and I to draw some circles in our lives around those people and things that are the most important to us and learn to say no to most everything else. It’s time to rest.

So even as we enter the holiday season, maybe you could use this reminder as well. Is it time to re-evaluate your priorities? Set some boundaries? Learn to relax and laugh and sleep deeply? Don’t let the holiday season be another reason to put off taking care of yourself and your family. You can do it!

It’s been an amazing football season for Hickory Grove Christian School! They are going to the playoffs this Friday for Game 1, and if we win we will keep playing. If we don’t, we will be grateful for the fun season.

Last Friday we drove to Asheville, NC to play Asheville School. Evidently it’s a boarding school. I was amazed at how nice the campus was—crazy that this is a high school.

I’ve enjoyed watching the team grow and learn to work together better and better over the season. Mack has definitely matured and grown through the ups and downs of the season. I’m thankful for this school and this program. Will I also be thankful for a quiet Friday night? Yes, I will.

The girls have made some great friends at Liberty, and this is just a post to say I’m grateful. College is such a unique time of life. So free and fun…even if you don’t fully realize that while you’re in this season.

This weekend Molly brought her sweet friend home with her, and they were such a joy to have here. So chill and fun. They slept, did some laundry, and hung out with Mack some. They ate some good food, did some homework, and went to church with us, ate lunch with some south GA friends coming through town, capped off the afternoon with a Sunday nap and then headed back to school. And we miss them already!

Ruby traveled to a friend’s hometown and stayed there two nights. It seems like they all had a great time, too!

Super grateful for these relationships. Very special!!

I pray they always have their people in every season of their lives. And I hope they realize how special it is to have friends they can count on. A gift from God, indeed.

The trees are changing into the most colorful sights these days! Oranges and yellows and reds and every color in between. Just gorgeous!

A couple of weeks ago on a walk with a friend, we were discussing prayer and faith. She reminded me that even in our physical seasons there is so much going on that we cannot see. So much beneath the surface of the earth and in the trees’ deep roots. More than meets the eye, I suppose you could say.

And the same is true in our walk here on this earth. There’s more going on than meets the eye. With our kids, I can be assured that God is at work. Whether I see the work or the results of the work. Whether or not they talk about the work going on in their lives. God is working. In our marriage, He is working. In my struggle with purpose and motivation in this season, God is working. With that neighbor or co-worker you’ve been sharing the gospel with, He is working. In the deep wounds of war, God is working. It doesn’t always seem like it. It’s definitely not always obvious.

But isn’t this faith?!? Faith is being sure of what you hope for and confident of what you cannot see. And without faith it is impossible to please God. So it’s pretty silly when I begin to doubt just because I can’t see what is going on. I don’t know the details of every situation. I don’t know the inner workings of each of my kids’ hearts. I don’t even know what tomorrow holds. I don’t understand the hate and the war. But I can trust God who sees all, knows all, and is powerfully at work in ways I do not know about.

I recently began reading The Hiding Place—“the triumphant true story of Corrie Ten Boom.” And wow was my faith fueled as I read about her life and her sister, Betsie’s life. Taken into custody by the Nazis in 1944, they were treated horribly and had to live in awful conditions. You’ll need to read the book to appreciate all that they endured. But I am amazed at the faith they had in God every step of the way. The love they had for God’s Word and how He allowed them to keep a copy of His word throughout the whole stay. They would read it aloud to their barrack members each evening and while they worked. They must have seen more than meets the eye. They must have heard more than what their ears heard day in and day out. They must have believed that God was with them and that this world is not their home. They lived differently. They loved differently. They actively worked against the hate that surrounded them by loving and forgiving people and praying for those who hurt them. They saw this broken world for what it is and put all their hope in the new world Jesus is coming back to make new.

One move brought the sisters to an overcrowded barrack that was overrun with fleas. They were absolutely everywhere. And that first day Corrie was complaining but Betsie stopped her and prayed, thanking God for the fleas because He says to give thanks in all circumstances. Much later, they found out that the reason they had such freedom to read the Bible outloud every night and the reason the male guards left them alone was because of the fleas. Truly, God was using the difficult circumstances for their good. Betsie decided to see it that way even before she knew it was true.

I’d say they lived a faith-filled life that fueled other people’s faith and continues to do so even today. Even after Corrie was released, she went on to run a home in honor of Betsie who spoke often of a vision “of a home here in Holland where those who had been hurt could learn to live again unafraid.” Someone gave Corrie this home. When she toured the home, it was just as Betsie had described it, though Betsie had never physically been there.

“Are there…” my throat was dry. “Are there inlaid wood floors inside, and a broad gallery around a central hall, and—and bas-relief statues set along the walls?”

Mrs. Bierens de Haan looked at me in surprise. “You’ve been here then! I don’t recall—”

“No,” I said. “I heard about it from—”

“From someone who’s been here,” she finished simply, not understanding my perplexity.

“Yes,” I said. “From someone who’s been here.”

I want to live like I see more than meets the eye. I want to endure hard times as one who knows God is good and that this world is not my home. I want live hearing from God on my circumstances and not taking them for what they seem to be. I want to live a life of faith. Whatever I am going through is likely preparing me for a future endeavor.

Corrie Ten Boom has been quoted as saying: This is what the past is for! Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives is the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see.