Author: kdorminy

Maybe I’m the only one (but I doubt it) that feels bad for your kids and the onslaught of disappointments that have come their way over the past 10 month, but I really do feel bad for them.

Not bad for them like they’re just pitiful children that won’t ever get over these difficult days. I totally get that there are unthinkable situations kids are in around the world that actually are horrible and that they may actually never get over while they walk this earth.

However, I’m just talking about in our world, in our little city, at our kids’ school and in our church and home—-some things just absolutely stink. I won’t make a list of the disappointments, but there have been plenty. And all this cooped up togetherness can be a bit much. Soooo, I’m working hard to create other fun stuff to do that would be considered safer than gathering in a large group somewhere. For instance, we rented a movie theatre after Christmas. It cost about the same as what it would cost for our whole family to go out to a theatre under normal circumstances, so why not?!? And we get fun take out food pretty regularly. They’ve gone out on week nights with friends or spent long hours at their house when, otherwise, I would want them home. But considering that they haven’t been able to go to school since before Thanksgiving, they are dying to be with people.

Yesterday, I bought some gingerbread houses and candy for them to invite three friends over and have a little friendly gingerbread decorating competition. It was a fun, light hearted night that they needed.

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Suffice it to say, parenting teenagers during a global pandemic has been challenging. Helping them stay connected to people and being creative and keeping them away from the screen is challenging but so needed. Hip hip hooray for gingerbread houses!

I like peace. I like calm. I have been in very stressful situations and managed to keep my head because I am very good at figuring out how to keep the peace, even if only in my own head. It’s more of a coping mechanism than anything else. 

Sharing the planet with people who think very differently than me is wearing on me. Trying to wrap my mind around how in the world so many people can’t see some of the dangers of what our culture is agreeing with and the path that these decision inevitably lead to is extremely challenging, and I end up shaking my head and muttering, “Come quickly, Lord Jesus.”  It is not peaceful here.

I was in a cycle of reading news article after news article and checking this and that person’s twitter account throughout the painfully long election season. I went on a walk and told the Lord that I was a bit confused about how in the world I am supposed to live here and care about the future of my kids here if He wasn’t going to come back anytime soon AND AT THE SAME TIME not be consumed with what the Senate is doing or not doing, who is in the House and when would we actually know, with confidence,  who our next President would be. I felt in my spirit the reminder that this is not my home and God’s government is the one I need to be most consumed with. I took a deep breath, kept walking and kept rolling around in my mind the truth that God’s Kingdom is what I yearn for and that one day I will be in that perfect place where Jesus is the center and there is no confusion on Who is in charge, Who is the leader,……. There was peace in that truth.

But I still live here, day in and day out. I still live in this city, in this state. I live on my particular street in my specific neighborhood with neighbors I know by name. And whom I have very different worldviews than. There has to be interaction, conversations, laws to keep, and just working with people in numerous ways, some pleasant and some not so pleasant.

I am reading a book, Keys to Bonhoeffer’s House , about Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s life, and I am being challenged that, indeed, there are rights that need to be stood up for. We aren’t here just to wait out our time to be in Heaven. Our main goal is not keeping peace at all costs. He surely has things for us to DO here that are important and maybe even controversial. People to stand against. People to speak up for. How can I, as the author, Laura M. Fabrycky, puts it “live faithfully in turbulent times”? She speaks of Bonhoeffer’s ache as “the agony of responsibility.” He prayed the Psalms and “prayer offered him solace and simultaneously plunged him more deeply into the needs of the world.” As much as I want to bury my head in the sand during these dark days, that is simply not an option.

I was reminded about an illustration from Bible Study that spoke of living as a Believer in this world and making sure you and yours are safe and saved and then stepping aside and watching the building burn, full of people—some who know they are in a burning building and are asking for help and some that have no idea that they are relaxing in a burning building. I could sooo see myself standing outside and just being glad I wasn’t in that building. Just being glad that my husband and kids and other family members were not in that building. And I wondered where my compassion was for those people? I scanned the windows and spotted the DMV employee and thought that maybe she was deserving of what was coming to her. (Forgive me if you are a nice DMV worker. This obviously doesn’t apply to you. I have never actually met a DMV worker that I would have assumed was a Christian. I have never even met a person who has met a DMV employee that was sort of nice. But now I am a little off track…)  My point is that we are in the “middle times” of life, of living. People need Christ. There was a “before Christ”  for me, and then I came to Christ and was saved and one day in the future I will be with Christ forever and ever and ever and ever in Heaven. But now. Now is hard. Now is broken. Now is sometimes crushing. Now brings spurts of happiness and laughter and enjoyment, no doubt about that. But we are living in some weary days. So what does God want for me to do now in this season of life? How do offer help and hope to those burning in the building?

It’s a question I want to know the answer to. Some people have more “front and center” jobs to do here and are heard and seen by many. Some people offer hope in ways no social media platform may ever see. For us, it meant opening our home on Thanksgiving (yes, even during Covid) to two families that didn’t have anywhere to be on Thanksgiving. For us, it means making a Christmas box of store bought treats, peppermint tea, Coca colas, and a deck of cards to just show my neighbor love this Christmas. For us, it means displaying in our front yard our DIY manger and star with a sign that reads, “JOHN 3:16.” If there’s ever a sign I can get behind or don’t mind offending people with, it’s that one. He is the hope of the world. He is the only one who brings perfect peace. For us, it means continuing to train our kids in ways that honor God and point to Him as Lord of our lives. It could be a text to a friend. A thoughtful gift to a neighbor this Christmas. An invitation to your church. Money to a needy family. The list is endless of ways we, as Believers, can offer the hope of Jesus to those around us. 

So maybe, like me, you find yourself living in this tension of “This is not my home” AND “This is where I live right now.” As much as I wish I could ignore all news and all political conversations and cut off people who don’t agree with me, I actually have a responsibility for how I live here, how I interact with people, and how I represent Jesus here on earth. 

I highly recommend this book. It challenged me and encouraged me in how to embrace the tension of Here and Now as we wait for There and Then. 

I will end with her final words from the book:

“Our civic house begs for attention, and those of us who belong to the small centers of a house can make a difference. The small efforts and the weak centers still matter, and those who will live in them depend upon us to care.”

Just as most of this year, Thanksgiving was not typical for us. Ruby got her wisdom teeth removed Wednesday, so we stayed home. We invited a couple of people who didn’t have family to go to, so that was a blessing.

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After Thanksgiving lunch was over, we pretty quickly shifted into Christmas gear.

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Thankful to God for this family of mine. Thankful God keeps His promise to be with us through all that life brings to and takes from us. He is good. I am grateful.

Admittedly, I am not a huge fan of Christmas decorations. I definitely don’t decorate before Thanksgiving. And when I do decorate, I like it for a few weeks, but it has to get taken down and put away immediately after Christmas Day, usually. And not to be confused with a Scrooge, I do love Christmas and all that it represents and the extra family time; I just don’t get carried away with the decorating part or transforming my home into a Winter Wonderland. And I don’t have a problem with people who do. I am just not one of those people.

{Maybe this stems from me being the middle child. Thanksgiving can get overlooked, and we middle children have a special place in our hearts for anyone and anything that gets overlooked. }

However, this year my heart is longing for the reminder, the focus, the truth of IMMANUEL. God is with us. As this absolutely unexpected year comes to a close, I need to be reminded that God has not left us to our own. (Who would blame Him?) I need to dwell on the truth that Jesus left heaven to come and rescue us! I need to be reminded that Jesus “is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of His nature and upholds all things by the word of His power” (Hebrews 1:3). Christmas shouts to all of us IMMANUEL, GOD IS WITH US!!!! We always need this truth, but I am just saying that this year it feels like I need to sit with this truth a little longer to fully prepare my heart to celebrate Christmas. I need some extra time to turn away from distractions and worries of this world and focus on Jesus. He loved us so much that He came to this broken earth to save us from our sins and from the wrath of a holy God. There is no political candidate this year or in any previous year in all of history that can “heal our land” or “restore the soul of America.” Healing and restoration come from God. 

I find such peace in Christ The Lord being with me. I hope you do, too. I read in Luke 1:28 that the angel of the Lord greeted Mary, the mother of Jesus, and included these words: “The Lord is with you.”  And as I kept reading, I read these words referring to John the Baptist, “For the hand of the Lord was certainly with him.”

Isaiah 7:14, many years before Jesus actually was born, prophesied, “Behold a virgin will be with child and bear a son, and she will call His name, Immanuel, God with us.”

Let’s all spend time turning away from the world and sitting with Jesus. Thank God for sending Him to earth to be with us. Thank God that He continues to be with us through the Holy Spirit. He has not left us. God is with us and that is always enough, no matter what circumstance you find yourself in. 

Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I AM WITH YOU; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

*******sneak peek at a new Christmas decoration for our yard that Josh and I worked on last week that we hope will remind our neighbors and ourselves of the truth that Christmas is for celebrating JESUS, God with us:

I was lying in bed late last night and could hear the sounds of frogs and crickets outside. It took me back immediately to Ware Road in the back guest room where I would share a bed with my older sister on the fun ocassion we got to spend the night with my Meme Rhodes. The only bad part of these nights was the chance that the cat, Kitty Blue, would jump up on the end of the bed and stare us down. It was then that I would hope the cat wouldn’t suck my breath and cause me to die while I slept. I heard that this could happen to babies, and I imagined it could happen to me as well. Thankfully, Kitty Blue never came closer than the end of the bed. 

Marcy and I always shared the back bedroom. Cacy always got to sleep with Meme—I suppose since she was the baby. 

My thoughts just kept on going last night as I thought about how we were always happy to get to stay with Meme Rhodes. We might have vegetable soup for dinner; it was usually piping hot so she would let us put a piece of ice in it to cool it down. I always sat in Daddy Zeb’s chair at the table.  At this point he was probably dead for five or more years, and over the course of my life I had heard stories about how I always liked to sit with him in his chair, how he had loved me lots. And somehow in my mind that translated to me being his favorite, so I declared his chair as my chair and that was that. 

In MeMe’s kitchen area a wall was filled with photos of the faces she loved the most. Each family had their photo up on the wall. Austin, the oldest and dearest grandchild to Meme, would have probably unabashedly had the most photos on the wall, except MeMe would at least try to appear to love us all equally; the rest of us knew the truth and loved her still.  

In the morning we were guaranteed Rice Krispies cereal with as many spoonfuls of sugar as we could sneak into the bowl. And maybe we would get to hear songs she had written flow out of the tape recorder she would sing into on occassion. We may have had to put her furniture back in place because the night before we would have most definitely rearranged her living room furniture before settling down to watch Hee-Haw and suck on Hershey kisses until they disappeared in our mouths. 

MeMe had green carpet. And a floor heater that we would jump over on our way to the bathroom in our sock feet…because MeMe never let us roam around her house without socks on our feet for fear we would catch a cold.

She taught us what “french baths” were. She always had Archie comics and Reader’s Digest in her bathroom for your convenience. And there was a room sort of like a storage room filled with Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys novel sets…maybe both, I can’t remember. 

These were simple times that I love to remenince about. No worries (if you don’t count Kitty Blue’s nighttime appearance), no cares, no troubles on those spend the nights at MeMe’s house. 

A sweet memory for me quickly turns to pain though when I think about the fact that my kids don’t have either of their grandmothers anymore. A grandmother’s love is special and such security can be found there. They think you are the best. Always. They defend you and protect you (from even your parents!) and give you another layer of your history and what makes you, you! A fabulous memory of MeMe tinged with sadness at the loss for my own kids. But that’s ok…and that’s how it is with most of life…a mix of joy and sadness. I pray one day I can be a grandmother that hosts spend the nights and is a place of unending love and acceptance. One day.

With my highschoolers at home while the school does some extra sanitizing and gives kids a break from sharing germs (there were two unrelated Covid-19 cases that came to light last week), I am newly reminded of a story from when Ruby was probably five years old or so. We were playing with her doll house. I was the baby, so I was making the baby cry. Ruby told me not to do that. She also, as the mom of the dollhouse, told the kids they were going to daycare. I asked Ruby why the kids were going to daycare—did the mom have to go to a job? Ruby looked at me as serious as could be and said, “No, the mom doesn’t have a job, but she can’t get anything done with these kids at home.” It cracked me up because my kids were always at home with me for, oh, about 15 years!!! She confirmed my feelings all along though, so there’s that.

But with them home, I am not getting things done like I would like. I am not enjoying the quiet like I usually do….I know, I know, but they are home and with me and that is sweet and special. Yes, yes it is. I love constant kitchen use and noise. 🙂 

These are weird days, for sure. The year has been a doozey and now we wait on who will be our next President.

One day if my grandkids ask me what I was thinking and feeling during the Election of 2020, I would have to tell them it was complicated. I mean, it probably shouldn’t be as a Believer. I know Jesus is in perfect control. He is sovereign and good and has purpose far beyond what I can see or know. Like at this moment, I am typing my thoughts and feelings, listening to worship music AND listening to Fox News in the background. Probably not the greatest idea. But a picture of how it all is shaking out. God has us living in this world, on this broken planet, reeling from so much unrest, unknown and unsettledness. How does one walk in peace? I went on a walk yesterday and shared my frustrations and my worries and concerns for our country with the Lord. I have some sadness about how the direction of our country affects my kids’ future. And at the same time, I know God has purpose and plans for Ruby, Molly and Mack that are not tied up in how an election goes. I pray that God continues to draw me closer to Him and give me clear vision of Him through these days of distractions and discouragment. 

I find myself scrolling social media looking for a little bit of hope, a little bit of answers, some certainty, the latest news is sure to clear all this up….right?

We can’t get fed and satisfied by reaching out for other people’s bits of hope or thoughts. Why not go to the Word and sit with Jesus?  Sit long. Sit quiet. Sit awake to His presence. That is the only thing that will get you through anything. It may sound trite or too easy or too simple, but it really is the exact right thing to say and do. Trust the Lord!

I have also been listening to this song (below) over and over and louder and louder. Sometimes we draw circles and shut out the noise, taking care of our souls so that we can then go out into the world with eyes that see people like God sees people. This doesn’t happen naturally. It’s intentional work. I fail often. I can’ t see my neighbor because all I see is the political sign in their yard. This isn’t right or good or godly.

Lord, help me stand firm in Your truth and Your Word and live in Your presence, full of the Spirit in this very broken world. Help me keep You as the main thing because You are!!

I am a sucker for fresh starts. When the first day of the month starts on the first day of the week, as it did today, I usually feel a sense of expectation. I think about what new focus I need to have in my life, what habit I need to hone in on, and of course, I wonder how many pounds I could lose over the next thirty days. 

This morning I felt that sense for about five seconds and then I could almost hear myself saying, “oh what’s the point?” I mean, the election is Tuesday. I would hate to give so much energy to a fresh start only to have the world implode or maybe to have riots break out down the street or maybe we won’t be able to find toilet paper again! Who stinkin’ knows?!?! 

Can we hope at the end of the year 2020? Can we look ahead with expectancy as we continue to deal with a global pandemic? Is there any way to just numb myself to make it through the next couple of months and pray Jesus comes back or can 2021 truly promise to be nothing like 2020? 

I watched a video about how to trick yourself into doing hard things. It is narrated by the author of Atomic Habits, I believe. We mustered up some courage and all sat together in the living room for a family meeting. I shared the video with everyone and told them how all of life is hard to some degree. I remember seeing a saying about that—-Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. Choose your hard. Being healthy is hard. Being unhealthy is hard. Choose your hard. And on and on it goes challenging how one thinks about doing hard things. Josh shared an illustration he heard many years ago. Someone may read how Mozart spent hours upon hours of his life learning and practicing and perfecting his piano skills. This was his life’s work. And someone could say, “Wow, that is so hard.” But no, what is hard is taking the stage having NOT practiced and perfected his skill and expecting to be able to play amazingly. 

Josh also gave a mini-lecture of sorts on lead measures and lag measures. It was very enlightening and helpful. He used the example for the kids of their grades. To just want to make an A in Chemistry would be a lag measure. They should choose the lead measure of studying at least fifteen minutes every night no matter if they have homework or not—reviewing concepts, re-reading notes or chapters in their book, practiicng problems, etc. THEN, they have a high chance of making an A. Another example used was a lag measure of wanting to grow closer to the Lord. This a great goal/ambition/desire, but how is this measured exactly? Josh shared that, for him, being up at 5:00, getting coffee going and being at his desk with his Bible at 5:15 would be a lead measure because this ensures he has time to read God’s Word, to pray and listen to God. The result over time will be a closer walk with the Lord.

So why am I sharing about our family powwow? Well,  I just wanted to take a minute and encourage anyone who might be considering medicating through the rest of 2020 or burying your head in the sand instead of facing the realities of daily life. It’s tempting, I know. But there is purpose in your life. There are still challenges to accept, goals to aim for, lead measures to establish. There is THANKSGIVING! And CHRISTMAS! Family and food and friends and what a year to be able to look back and see the faithfulness of God. We’ve made it through some hard stuff. We are likely stronger and more compassionate, humble and more aware of our lack of control and God’s perfect control. We can do hard things even still. Cheers to these last two months of the longest year of our lives! 

Love these girls and this song!

I needed a reminder to look to Jesus because there are a lot of other distractions to look at these days.  One in particular, the political signs in my neighborhood. Then, every single hour it seems that something “news worthy” is flashing on my phone. And then there is the wading through of lots and lots of opinions about that piece of news. We like to raise our voices and let people know what we think. And I definitely have opinions—mask or no mask, open schools or keep them closed, vote in person or by mail, pro-life or pro-abortion, less taxation or more taxation, small government versus big government, Trump or Biden. If I had no filter or operated out of zero wisdom, I may put a banner the size of Texas in my yard or comment on every post I disagree with. But thank the Lord above, He helps me. 

And a passage of scripture from Numbers 2 helped me immensely the other morning.  Whitney Capps, the author of WE OVER ME bible study, reminded me to look at how God set up camp with His people.  Verse 2 of chapter 2 says, “The sons of Israel shall camp, each by his own standard, with the banners of their fathers’ households; they shall camp around the tent of meeting at a distance.”  Their banner associated them with their father. They were under his leadership. They were around the tent of meeting, which is where the presence of God was. “At the command of the Lord” (Numbers 9:18) they would stay or pack up and travel on. The “command” of the Lord can also be translated as the “mouth” of the Lord. So they were to hang on His every word and be ready to follow the cloud by day or the fire by night.  And the only way to know what the Lord wanted was to keep their eyes on the tent of meeting where God’s presence dwelt.  The Israelites were often in enemy territory, so keeping their eyes on the center of their camp might seem less helpful than watching their backs and making sure no one was sneaking up on them. But God was teaching Israel that He alone is in control. He alone knows how to best take care of them. He alone deserves all of our attention and affection. He alone is worth following fully, giving my total allegiance. 

Is God the center of your thinking these days? Is God the One you’re looking to for direction, for relief, for satisfaction, for stability? Unless you are being intentional about this, then you are likely getting run slap over with the onslaught of distractions out there that steal your joy and peace. Don’t let satan win the moment or the day or the week or this election cycle. Keep Jesus at the center of your thinking. Re-align your thoughts and attention and affection to Him. Hang on His every Word that He has so graciously given to us. 

I might mention that there is a sign in a neighbor’s yard that brings me hope. On it are written “Psalm 91.” 

 PSALM 91

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress,

My God, in whom I trust!”

For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper

And from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with His pinions,

And under His wings you may seek refuge;

His faithfulness is a shield and bulwark.

You will not be afraid of the terror by night,

Or of the arrow that flies by day;

Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness,

Or of the destruction that lays waste at noon.

A thousand may fall at your side

And ten thousand at your right hand,

But it shall not approach you.

You will only look on with your eyes

And see the recompense of the wicked.

For you have made the Lord, my refuge,

Even the Most High, your dwelling place.

No evil will befall you,

Nor will any plague come near your tent.

For He will give His angels charge concerning you,

To guard you in all your ways.

They will bear you up in their hands,

That you do not strike your foot against a stone.

You will tread upon the lion and cobra,

The young lion and the ]serpent you will trample down.

“Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;

I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.

“He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;

I will be with him in trouble;

I will rescue him and honor him.

“With a long life I will satisfy him

And let him see My salvation.”

Dr. Albert Mohler recently taught Psalm 91, and I listened to the sermon several times. He challenges the believer to be determined to be found faithful in these “unprecendented” times. He reminds us that the sovereignty of God guarantees that there is purpose in this. He quoted C.S Lewis  from 1939 at the beginning of World War 2: “The war creates no new situation; it simply aggravates the permanent human situation so that we can no longer ignore it.”

Mohler goes on to say, “We are not NOW mortal. We are not NOW surrounded by danger. We are not NOW in a dangerous world” (meaning since Covid-19). He challenges us to respect concerns but do NOT give in to fear and he ends with this thought regarding the sweet truth of Psalm 91; “Under the shadow of the Almight—it’s where we’ve always been. It’s just imperative that we understand it now.”

So instead of hanging up the dog leash and putting away my walking shoes until after the election, I think I will keep walking and use every sign as a reminder that my banner is Jesus. He is who I look to for all I need. And I will pray that more and more people will look to God! He is our only hope!

Molly had the opportunity to share a song she wrote and share a little about her story during last week’s chapel service at school. Thankful!