Empty Nest stage is technically when the kids have officially moved out of the home, footing their own bills. Josh and I are not in the empty nest stage. I don’t even think I will consider us empty nesters when Mack goes off to college. I am learning that this stage we are in is anything but empty. There are definitely less people in the house on a regular basis. Less mess. Less drama. Less shenanigans. Less talking. Less planning. Less late nights. Less junk food. More driveway space. But this is a full season! Young Adults keep you hoppin’.
See they do go away, but the breaks are many. Winter Break is a full four weeks. Sounds like a short amount of time, but it really isn’t for kids who don’t have jobs and are entering back into our routines, which abruptly get wonky when they are here. And I am so glad they are here! We love our talks with them. We love hearing how school was and all the stories that go along with this season. There is something comforting knowing all your kids are sleeping safely and soundly under your roof. We are also super tired because we stay up later than normal. We are sometimes concerned with some of these stories they share. We let them sleep late, but wonder if they will ever get up and be productive. We try to squeeze in appointments—eye appointments, teeth appointments, car appointments, and more. The breaks are full to say the least. And though the college girls are back at Liberty, have no fear…another break is coming.
Spring Break is in a mere eight weeks. Then, only eight weeks after that, there is summer break which lasts like 12 weeks. Then we move them back out of home or wherever they land all summer and back in to school.It can be a whirlwind, and all I am saying is this isn’t an empty season at all. There are calmer days when less people are in the house, but as I mentioned— they come back. They come back with all their stuff….so, it can be complicated. They come back with needs and wants and opinions and ways of doing things different than you. It’s hard to see eye to eye some times.
What I do see more clearly when they are under our roof is who God is making them to be. He lets me see ways they have matured and grown in their walk with Him…or not. I see how they are learning to live most of their days without me around them with all of my (amazingly helpful) advice. I also see ways to pray for them. In this season, I think talking less about what concerns me and praying more about it is by far the more effective route. And this is so hard for me. I want to tell them things because surely they want to know what they need to fix or improve upon, right?? The truth is they usually know all on their own what their struggles are, what their weaknesses are and where they could stand to put in more effort. Hearing it from mom or dad just doesn’t do anything but frustrate them.
So as our three have been in and out of the nest over this break, I am grateful for the ways the Lord has opened my eyes to what they need and to hear what is on their hearts, and I know He is the perfect One to go to with their needs and with my concerns and hopes for them. I see ways I need to release them to Him. I see my desperate need to pray to God for them, to ask God to draw them individually closer to Him day by day by day.
Just this week, Ruby spent some time here and then packed up this afternoon and took off to Lynchburg. Molly will be back in Charlotte from a few days in Atlanta at Passion Conference. Mack is in Dominican Republic with his senior class on a mission trip. They are unique and each one is in their own season and on their own journey. I want our home to be a safe place to land for a bit before taking off again. Admittedly, this doesn’t come easy for me. I mean, I am always glad to see them, and I genuinely enjoy being with them. And at the same time, I struggle with the routine getting thrown off with their ins and outs. There is usually a lot of emotion and decisions and dilemmas. But even with all of that, I hope they each sense that we love having them here and we want them to find rest and love and belonging here for all of their days. Anddddddd we want them to succeed out in the world in every way! We want them to have confidence that God is with them always and helping them in every situation they find themselves in.
So this evening as I sit by the fire while the snow falls, I am in an empty house basically. It’s just Rolo and me….Mack’s flight got delayed until tomorrow. So I am taking this opportunity to enjoy the quiet, the cleanliness, the book I am going to read, the hot shower I will take, the no-cooking dinner I will throw together, and I will thank God that even though my home is empty for this night, my heart is full with thoughts and prayers for my family and my texts are full of messages from the kids and Josh. Indeed, this season is anything but empty.
