This morning I woke up with a full heart and tired eyes. Last night we hosted the youth group, and I loved having everyone here! They ate pizza, wings, meatballs, chips and desserts and washed it all down with more Coca-Cola products than their parents would want to know. They played games outside and a new game called “Four On a Couch” inside. Some parents stayed, so Josh and I were able to get to know some folks better. I am always so happy to have people in our home. It just seems right and good. It was easier in Georgia simply because we knew more people and led a Sunday school class full of awesome families. The support system we had there was amazing, and I didn’t realize how good it was until it was gone. But God has used this new journey to pull me aside and be with Him…reminding me He is enough, He is the One who understands me perfectly and sees me all the time, the One Who loves me best. It has been so good for me. And so hard.
In my Bible this morning, I was reading in Psalm 13 and saw written next to it in my handwriting, “All 2017.”
“How long, O LORD? Will You forget me forever?
How long will You hide Your face from me?
How long shall I take counsel in my soul, Having sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long will my enemy be exalted over me?”
This most definitely described how I felt “all the day” of 2017. The Psalmist shows us that it’s right and appropriate to take our sorrows to God. He is a safe place for my honest cries.
“Consider and answer me, O LORD my God;
Enlighten my eyes, or I will seep the the sleep of death,
And my enemy will say, ‘I have overcome him,’
And my adversaries will rejoice when I am shaken.”
He continues with prayer for help. And he is urgent about it. He really wants an answer. I have learned more about praying this way over the last few months. It isn’t easy for me to ask God to hurry up and answer me or to quickly come to my aid….I tend to just think, “Well, He knows best. I will just wait.” Dr. Jim Shaddix has been preaching at our church and reminded us to pray with urgency AND AT THE SAME TIME remember that God #1) is always on time and #2 )always has the best interest of His children in mind.
“But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness;
My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation.
I will sing to The LORD, because He has dealt bountifully with me.”
He ends in praise, and like G.Campbell Morgan says, “The only explanation of this complete change of tone in the song is the fact of God, in Whose presence the man poured out his heart.” So true! The presence of God, the comfort of God changes me. The progress made in this chapter is astounding, and I have a real sense of progress as I sit here in Charlotte today. I am thankful that the Lord has allowed me to experience hope in Him alone, to catch glimpses of a hopeful future here. He is working in my heart, and He is working in my circumstances. I haven’t always seen it clearly, but I have grown in my trust in my God who is full of lovingkindness towards me. He has dealt bountifully with me, and He will continue to do so.