Kristy Dorminy

Conversation is defined as “a talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged.”

Have you ever been with someone and never had a chance to speak?

I mean, I’m all for being a good listener and asking good questions. But being with someone, say, on a walk or over coffee, and assuming their life isn’t falling apart, wherein it’s ok if they just vent the whole time, then wouldn’t it NOT be a conversation if you never get to say a word? It would at least be extremely one-sided. The person who has listened and never had a chance to speak into the conversation would likely feel lonely and even odd as they leave the time wondering—what just happened?

This idea came to me as I heard lyrics from a song about prayer:

“Spirit I will wait on You. In silence I am listening. For what’s a conversation if You have no time to speak? So Lord I will be still for You made my souls to rest. And there you give me pictures of the wonders up ahead.”

I was reminded that silence and listening are both vital to conversing with God. So often we just say what we need to say or, as I recently read, “We worry in the general direction of God” and then go on our merry way. But what about listening? What about leaning in to ask, “What would you like to say to me, God?”

I did that this afternoon and clearly I knew to turn to Psalm 139. Such a word from God to me.

Kristy, I made you. I formed you in your mother’s womb. Yes, your mother who is no longer with you on earth. I am before you, behind you, and My hand is on your life. I am with you always and everywhere. No matter how dark the world seems, with Me there is light. There’s been a lot of death from wars and disease and even young people you know—remember, in My book were written all the days that were ordained for you. Even before there was one of them! You can trust Me. I will lead you in the everlasting way. Stay close to Me. Don’t run from Me. Lean in and trust.

I share this to encourage you to pour out your heart to God. He hears! AND to listen. His voice is precious. His Word is a treasure. Search it. Find what He is saying to you today. 💗

The year is just ticking along! I cannot believe we are nearing the end of February. If I’m honest, I’d hoped the year would be restful and calm, but that has not been true at all. Life is full. There have been fun moments and there have been hard moments. There are so many teaching moments with our kids. I’m not sure if we are getting old and running out of energy for this or if we feel this crunch on time as we feel our window of training is quickly closing for each of the kids. But these life lesson talks exhaust me. There are so many things I feel like they should have gotten by now.

And truth be told, I feel the same way about my own self. So many moments lately that I am disappointed in my response or frustrated with my lack of self control or baffled that I still struggle in the same area. I think, “Shouldn’t I have gotten this by now?!?!!??”

When I was talking with The Lord about a failure of mine just this morning, I sensed Him say to my heart—“You are forgiven.” It was so sweet to feel His forgiveness. To roll those words over my heart and mind and to sit in His love. He’s not shaking His head at me. He’s not berating me with sarcastic words. He isn’t put out with me. He is steady and strong and forgiving. He doesn’t run away from me and all my issues. I’m so grateful.

So as this year rocks along, I hope I’ll be aware of God’s grace and patience with me. And in turn, I hope I will give my kids more grace and patience. That’s usually how it works.

So how about some photos and videos of the last few weeks?

We put out nearly 25 yards of mulch and it about killed my back.

Speaking of my back—I am still working out and proud of my consistency and progress!

I take way too many photos of Rolo. We love her to pieces.

I was so glad to see them. And sad to see them go. It was just too rushed. But spring break is almost here!!! Super excited for some beach time with them and some of their friends.

Ok, that’s all I’ve got for this little February update. Hope you’re enjoying life wherever you are! ❤️

Josh and I celebrated 23 years of marriage on January 27, 2024. We enjoyed time together and a nice dinner at Steak 48. We took a trip down memory lane when I read our 20th anniversary post here:

https://kristydorminy.com/2021/01/27/20-years/?amp=1

We did a little updating and adding a word for each year to catch us up to 2024. It was fun and pretty easy to boil the years down to their own word.

Anniversary words

2021––SEARCHING (for university for ruby, for answers to Mack’s health issues and a new school for him, for the truth about Covid and vaccines as Josh got very sick with it, for sanity bc the world seemed to have gone mad)

2022––CHANGE and INDEPENDENCE (Ruby graduated and left home for college, Mack started new school by himself, & Molly started her senior year without siblings)

2023–– SPIRITUAL WARFARE—(personal parenting challenges as we helped teens navigate a big, scary world, Josh serving on our Pastor Search Team for most of the year and feeling like we were in a battle for the future of our church…words aren’t enough to convey the heaviness of this year)

2024–to be determined!

I’m so grateful for our marriage. It is such a gift. I pray for 60+ more years with Josh.

And just in case anyone thinks sticking with one person for many years is boring or lacks in excitement and intimacy—-that’s a big lie. The way the years build and how you get to know one another and forge an amazing friendship is something special. Very special. Keep going!!!

The girls left this morning to head back to Liberty. They were excited to go and get back into their routine and see all of their friends. The start of a new semester is always a fun time.

Many people ask how I do with them leaving. And I have to say—It’s kind of tricky to answer succinctly. If I’m brutally honest, I am happy for them and I am happy for me. It’s a natural season of life that kids leave the home—whether college or marriage or a career. If they wanted to just stay here, we would have a problem.

As a mom, it’s nice to be needed.

Aaaannnnnd—it’s nice to not be needed. Ya know?

For some moms, my “happy to see them go” attitude will be mortifying. But if I share the truth, then maybe another set of moms won’t feel so alone in being “happy to see them go.” I am always happy to see them come home—don’t get me wrong. It’s just time for them to get back into their own little worlds and do all the quirky things they like to do. It’s time for them to use their own washer and dryer and eat on their own schedule. To stay up late in their own living quarters. Among other things.

And let me be clear—the feeling is mutual. These girlies were ready. And I’m proud of them flying out there in the world, maturing and growing and learning so very much about how to take care of themselves. It’s going to be a great semester!! Second semester for Molly and Fourth semester for Ruby!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

On one of our end of the year walks, Josh and I were discussing the New Year and any words or goals we wanted to focus on. I wasn’t sure I had any major re-hauls for my life to tackle and a word for the year wasn’t coming to me, so I threw out the word “endure.” I felt a bit like—I think I just need to keep on keeping on. But Josh challenged me to welcome a mind shift and choose a word like “pursue”—a going after something vs. staying under something. We have been in an enduring season for like 6 years😵‍💫

I’ve given it some thought and think he is right. Yet I shrink back from thinking I can do something big or significant. I’ve actually been on quite the journey (ie. 23 years as wife and 19 years as mom) of learning to value a hidden life and to have God’s perspective on the mundane, boring but necessary, seemingly small things a mom has to do. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, picking up drycleaning, feeding the dog, cleaning toilets, making doctor appointments, training kids, etc….over and over and over again for over twenty years. So the shift to actually pursuing something big is leaving me wondering what exactly that looks like.

So when I read John 15 on New Year’s Day, I was greatly helped. Jesus is speaking:

“I am the vine; you are the branches. He who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”

“My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be My disciples.”

“If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love.”

“This I command you, that you love one another.”

The answer to ‘what do I pursue’ became crystal clear to me. Instead of wondering if I should pursue going back to school, pursue getting a job, pursue looking for something big to pursue or any other thing like that, I am to pursue Him.

Pursue God. Pursue People. That was my answer.

How exactly do I do that? Well, His Word reminded me that staying near to God, connected to Him happens through reading His Word, confessing my sins, praying, worshiping Him, staying sensitive to the Spirit of God in my life. This is what brings much fruit and glorifies God. I was reminded that loving people brings God glory, too. So what better way to invest my energy than abiding in Christ and living by the Spirit, which should produce a love for people.

Maybe you’ve felt some pressure to come up with a grandiose New Year’s resolution or some goal. I’d like to give you permission to simply stay connected to Jesus. He will take care of the fruit. He will let you know if there’s something big to do….and He may just help you see that a lot of the small things are indeed the big things.

Happy New Year!

Words fall short to express what an amazing little getaway Josh and I got to have to end the year. Travelers Rest, SC is a hidden gem! This past summer, in the thick of a stressful time, I decided we needed a getaway, and I made this reservation almost on a whim. I perused Airbnb and happened to find this new spot—a cool treehouse tucked away in the woods. So private and serene, but minutes away from the cutest little town filled with shops and an amazing trail, the Swamp Rabbit Trail. At the time I clicked on “reserve these dates,” I had no idea how much we would need to get out of town. It has been such a sweet few days. The Lord provided, and we are grateful.

We have rested. We have read. We have talked. We have shopped for our home. We have walked so many miles on the trail. We visited Greenville. We have eaten some great food. (Josh learned I’m not a fan of crepes.) We have dreamed together. We’ve planned. We’ve prayed. We have connected and unplugged from distractions. We journaled. We laughed. We sat on the porch in silence and listened to nature. We star gazed right from the little home. Sweet memories were made.

Thank You, Lord, for providing just what we needed. You always do. These two travelers feel rested and refreshed for all You have for us.

Well, I just finished up my sixth year of showing up consistently at my gym. Six years. 72 months. 313 weeks.

There were hard days. Very hard days. There are still hard days, if I’m honest. But I can’t fully express how deeply grateful I am for my health. The past six years have been filled with a lot of ups and downs and so many challenges in my personal life, in family life, in raising three teenagers, in sending kids off to college, and more. I won’t even mention perimenopause and the rollercoaster it has been.

Here’s the thing though—all the challenges would still have been present. The six years, the 72 months, the 313 weeks all would have passed whether I was working out or not. So I’m extremely happy that I made the hard decision to keep showing up. It’s actually not hard to show up anymore. It might even be the easiest part of my week. Showing up is, by far, what has kept me going. I have a time and place and plan when I get there. Tim has been so helpful in challenging me at appropriate levels that kept me going and didn’t let me settle.

But I think the biggest mental shift and help has been coming to grasps with the fact that there is no finish line. Too often we think “when I lose 20 pounds, then I can be happy.” Or maybe we think once we get strong then we can just coast. But that’s not helpful—because moving my body doesn’t have a finish a line. Benefiting from strength will last my whole life!

So here’s to six years and many, many more—Lord-willing!!

Josh and I have the privilege to lead a small group at our church. There are about fifteen or so young married couples, many of which have kids or one on the way. In the group text among the ladies of our group, we were exchanging some photos from the holiday season—photos with Santa among them. I couldn’t help but share a couple of my favorites from years gone by. I’m thankful they let me indulge in this way and add, “I miss these days! Enjoy the craziness!!”

I share that comment at risk of sounding like the older ladies who would tell me how quickly time passes as they watched me wrangle my three. For quite a while this sentiment bothered me. Here I was trying my best to be their mom, be present and care for their every need. I didn’t find their melancholy words—“don’t blink” —very comforting.

But now as a 46 year old mom of three, ages 19, 18, and 16, I understand their hearts. They meant only well. They meant to relay to me how very precious these little faces I was wiping actually were. They didn’t want me to miss a single minute of it because they would give anything for a single minute to hold their newborn baby again or kiss their toddler’s chubby cheeks or hear their tiny voices. I share this photo because it takes me back to this fun day in 2008 at the Christmas Tree Farm. A forever memory etched on my heart. We were present with one another. I’m sure someone cried. I’m sure they fought at some point. But what a sweet day I treasure fifteen years later. In the moment I didn’t know how special this outing was. But now I know.

And my message to my young mom friends is not so much to not blink. Not even to remind you how fast they grow up. But instead what I’m saying is BE PRESENT. Ask the Lord to help you soak in the faces of those you love. Ask the Lord to slow your racing mind of to-do lists and put your phone down and live hands free this Christmas season. It’s impossible to not blink. It’s impossible to freeze time. But we can all be present. It will be the greatest gift we give and receive. Merry Christmas!

It’s no secret this is a busy season. There are Christmas parties to attend, gifts to purchase and wrap, grocery lists to make, cookies to bake, family to host and so much more. It’s nearly impossible to rest. It’s more challenging than I’d like to admit to keep Jesus at the center.

I was bemoaning this reality just this morning as I talked with the Lord. I was asking for help to be able to clear out the distractions and constant noises of this season. In an attempt to clear my head, I wrote out prayers for those on my heart. I was asking God to help them in specific ways, but the crux of the matter was that they each need God to be with them. And the Good News of Jesus is that He is Immanuel, God with us!! Thank You, God, for Jesus.

Maybe you feel the tension of this season. The desire to rest in the Lord and focus on the gift of Jesus, yet your to do list grows by the minute…your heart may be heavy for someone you love…your heart may be grieving and you feel there is little room for the comfort Jesus brings. I pray you can cast all your cares on the Lord, knowing that He cares for you. Knowing that He is with you and He is with the ones you love. It may take quite a bit of effort and lots of prayer to intentionally keep Jesus at the forefront of your mind and heart, but it will be worth it. There is no other thought so comforting, so encouraging, so needed as GOD WITH US. For if He is with us, nothing is too much. Nothing is too hard. Nothing is too frustrating. Nothing is too complicated.

https://youtu.be/HyU5Jg5mGak?si=mTnBVwwOgdbbUqgr

I haven’t blogged much lately. But we have been living a very full life over here. Some things have been fun and exciting. Most things have been mundane and just normal. Like stacking this wood that Josh ordered. He said to leave it and he’d stack it when he got home, but seeing how I was not currently doing laundry or cooking, I went ahead and stacked the wood and was quite proud of myself.

Mack has been enjoying a little reprieve from football practice and games every weekend. He seems to be doing well in school and spends lots of time with friends. He is on a basketball team with some friends, and they won their first game Friday evening.

We didn’t go watch him play because we were at Josh’s company’s Christmas tree lighting and then took Molly and three friends from college to Tacos 4 Life. But he came in with the team to eat so I snapped a pic. The friends rode with Molly so that she could crown the next Homecoming Queen at Carmel. They only spent one night, but I loved having them here.

Molly is finishing up her first semester at Liberty. It has been a whirlwind for her. She jumped in with two feet and has made so many friends and learned so much in just a few months. The amazing experiences at Liberty never cease to amaze me. She changed her major to Worship Leadership; she is very much looking forward to starting that track next semester.

Ruby has had a wonderful sophomore year at Liberty. She stormed the field last night when Liberty’s football team won their conference!

Ruby also already has a job lined up to work at a camp in Georgia this summer. 12 weeks!!! That’s crazy. She will be a camp photographer. I’m excited to see how it goes for her and see how she grows and matures through this. I’m sure she will do a great job and make lots of friends too.

Josh is just working, working, working. And enjoying being done with the Pastor Search he was a part of! We just watched Georgia get beat by Alabama, which is never a great way to end a season, but whatever. He and I have enjoyed extra time together lately. It seems like we find ourselves together and kidless quite often. We love our kids, but we’re not complaining about this new season.

Mack had a Homecoming Dance to go to this evening. He left here to get his date so I didn’t get photos of them together. Here he is looking so grown though:

And while I’m at it, we had a nice Thanksgiving with my dad and Sheila. The food was amazing. Josh smoked a prime rib. Delicious!!!!

We enjoyed having all the kids under one roof. But the week flew by and the girls took off after we got the house decorated for Christmas!

Josh and I also got a chance to go to Georgia last Thursday to see Brooklynn get adopted by Jason and Merrilee!! It was a very sweet day.

Thankful she is with her forever family now!

And now I’ll wrap this random blog up with a few pics of my dog. Rolo has been a trooper lately. It’s usually too cold to walk outside or I’ve just been too busy. She sits at the door looking at me as drive out of the driveway. Her pitiful face stares back at me and I feel like a terrible dog mom!! But she forgives me after a few treats.

Oh and I started Pilates last week. It has been a good challenge for me. I wanted something to add to my strength training that was also restorative. And I think I’ve found a great option for that! It’s so funny how the motive for movement shifts as you get older. Getting myself up from a sitting position is a main goal. Not falling and breaking an arm or a hip if I can help it is another!

I’m almost done Christmas shopping which is super fun for me!!! I have never been this far ahead, but I hope it helps me enjoy this time of year even more. And who knows, maybe I’ll have more time to blog. And maybe something more in depth than photos and updates on life. 😊