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We just started living our Empty Nest Life, and we are enjoying it so far! The house is quiet, but it’s also clean. The driveway is empty, but so is the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. So you take the wins with the losses and keep moving!

I don’t normally give advice for much of anything—I hardly think the way I’ve done things is the best way. HOWEVER, two things rise to the top if I were pressed to give advice—a don’t and a do!

1.) Do not get a puppy.

I know, it’s probably in a textbook somewhere for moms entering this new season of no kids in the house, but I had to learn the hard way. So in case you haven’t read the book, here’s your word to the wise. Just don’t get a puppy. You don’t want another living thing to depend on you. You’re free. Embrace it!

2.) Do subscribe to a meal plan program. I haven’t cooked since the kids left! I mean, besides scrambling eggs or making a batch of chicken salad, I just haven’t cooked. And it is amazing. We order 12 dinners a week from a local company (Project Lean Nation). We pick them up Saturday. We put them in the oven for fifteen minutes each evening and eat our yummy meal. And that is dinner. It’s heavenly. Easy. Delicious. Healthy. The grocery store is a breeze now. Some fruit, eggs, yogurt, and zero sugar/zero caffeine coke. Easy Peasy!!!!

And that is all I’ve got for you. Maybe this will help someone else about to enter this season. If I learn anything else worth sharing, I’ll be sure to post about it!

After the trip to Wilmington, we had a couple of days at home before Molly and I headed to Lynchburg to move her into her dorm. She chose to live back on campus this year, and I love that for her. It’s such a simple life with the dining hall conveniently located next to her dorm. And friends everywhere you turn. She loves people and fun and late nights, so she will thrive!

We filled up my car with her stuff because I was to be the one to drive up and let the students load up her things in red rolling bins and deliver it all to her room. Liberty move in is AMAZING!!!!!! They have music playing and smiles and signs to welcome everyone. And the parents don’t have to lug all the stuff to the room.

Molly went super simple this year because she has already done the decorations and moving allll the stuff out that she chose to move in, so she planned a bit more strategically with her clothes and decor. I love that about her.

Lillah!! We love Lillah. They’re in the same building so that’s fun!

Shout out to Coca Cola Consolidated who is sponsoring the kids’ education here. lol

After a full few hours of moving her in and running to Target, we grabbed some dinner and then went to a little birthday party for Kylie, Ruby’s room mate. It was fun to see all of the friends.

The next day we went shopping because that’s of much more interest to the girls than moving in or decorating. We had a fun time! I got to see Ruby’s workplace in the mall and meet her manager. And we bought some cute things!

I absolutely loved being with the girls and seeing where they’re living. They are blessed to be at Liberty. What an amazing spot! I love it there.

We saw some young girls crying as they were hugging their parents. We saw families circled up and praying for their student they were leaving. We saw moms and dads working so hard to make sure their kid had everything they needed in their dorm. It’s just the sweetest time. I was reminded of our first drop off with Ruby. She didn’t cry. And then we dropped Molly the next year and there were lots of tears. They have both grown and matured and learned so much about themselves and about life while they’ve been at Liberty. They have met some amazing friends—and somehow I still feel like the best is yet to come!

Praying this is the best year yet! Go Flames!🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

{Josh and I are doing well today, our first day with no kids in the house because they’re all at college. I feel a bit like I’ve been run over by a truck after the whirlwind week, but I’m sure things will settle down and I’ll enjoy the clean, quiet house and my simple routine—and also look forward to a weekend visit from any of them!}

“It’s Time.”

That’s the phrase that kept playing over and over in my mind throughout our weekend in Wilmington as we got Mack set up in his new city.

As parents we don’t always see our “baby” of the family as ready for this monumental shift. And I suppose the jury is still out on how this will all go….but what I do know is it was time.

Time to let Mack live under another roof. Time to go to another church and hear truth from other Believers. Time to spread his wings and make some new friends. Time to really have to do his own laundry. Time to really get up on his own. It was time.

Mack was, seemingly, done learning and growing here. Our voices became like Charlie Brown’s teacher the older Mack got.

Like plants in a small pot, their roots can only go so deep, and therefore, their growth is limited—so is Mack in this home, in this city. It was time.

Wilmington is Mack’s bigger pot. He has potential to grow roots deeper in a plethora of ways! It’s really up to him now.

On Sunday, we attended a vibrant, healthy church with amazing worship and truth preached. This is something that has been lacking in our time in Charlotte. I’m so sad about what Mack’s church life looked like here, but I think it will make him that much more grateful to be a part of a healthy, growing church. We met the college pastor and Mack already has coffee planned with someone on staff this week. They have weekly gatherings of college students, too.

We found a CrossFit gym for Mack to join and it was amazing! Great staff, amazing facilities. He goes today to start working out there!

We found a CleanEatz for him to get meals for the week since he isn’t living on campus and doesn’t have a meal plan. This is huge!

We got him settled into a new apartment—even met one of the room mates and his family on our way to the car as we were about to head back to Charlotte. No matter how that turns out, Mack will grow and learn in his living situation!

He is set up for success, and I pray he grows into all that God has for him in Wilmington!

It was time.

We will miss having Mack around here, but truly can’t be more excited for his new adventure! Praying his roots grow downward and he bears fruit upward!

It’s time!

{>>>>>>>>loading empty nest season…..we move Molly in to her dorm later this week!}

I don’t want to post this on my blog, but I feel that I owe it to the few people that read my ramblings.

Stella found a new home.

I know—shocking. And sad. I cried. Molly cried. It was so very sad. Stella was a perfect puppy. She did all the puppy things and was the absolute cutest thing ever.

But Rolo was not ok. She did not like Stella. I know we could have endured longer to see if she would warm up to Stella. But I just wasn’t willing to carry on like that. And now that Stella is in a different family, our Rolo is back to normal! It’s actually crazy how subdued and depressed she was.

But don’t worry, Stella is with the sweetest family in Tennessee. She likely hasn’t even had her leash on since she left us. They have land. They have another dog who already loves her and plays with her and lets her sleep nearby!!!! I mean—it’s so precious.

I suppose all’s well that ends well?? But this was a very hard decision for me. I grappled with it so bad. And it’s taken a few days to feel ok about it. But seeing how the timing of us realizing this wasn’t working and Molly sharing it with her college room mate on the phone and them expressing interest. Then realizing they just happened to be traveling from the NC coast to their home in Tennessee and therefore coming near Charlotte the very next morning—-it just was as perfect as you can imagine.

I won’t be expounding any more about this on the blog. It’s just too depressing. But looking back, I suppose my situation was probably a textbook case of identity crisis as the house was about to be empty of all of our kids. Live and learn.

As for now, I’ll be making no major decisions for the next year. Just gonna take each day as it comes and enjoy peace and quiet and cleanliness in this next season of life.

We love you, Stella! Enjoy your country, leash-less life with your big sister who actually loves you!

Welp, we have started our third week with Stella. So that means we’ve lasted two weeks. That’s 14 days. It feels like it’s been five months. I’m so tired. She’s so needy, and I can’t really take my eyes off of her during this potty training

…….honest story—I wrote that first paragraph after we walked Stella a long time and decided she could go in her playpen to chill. I look over at her and she is sniffing. I get up to take her out to poop and realize she’s already peed. Ugh!!!! Took her out, washed her bed and toys, cleaned the floor and put her in her crate. She cannot be trusted.

Anyway, it’s another morning now with Stella. We have a routine.

I get her out of the crate at 6:30am. She goes pee and poo outside. We come in and I get the coffee going. Then I spend some time training her with our latest homework assignment from Adam, the dog trainer. Rolo jumps in on this because treats are involved. We play with some toys and chill in the kitchen while I unload the dishwasher until 7:30. At that time I put her in her crate with a Kong so I can have my time with The Lord. I think we all know this is a necessity in order to make it through the day with this puppy. She usually goes to sleep in the crate.

After this, the routine is rough but it’s basically awake for almost two hours, crate or playpen for an hour or so. She and Rolo are doing somewhat better together. I mean, better than Rolo growling and snipping at her. They can be in the same room. They haven’t played together really yet, which is super disappointing. But I’m proud of Rolo putting up with her. Part of me wishes Rolo couldn’t handle her so we would have to give her away…..kidding. Sort of.

Anywayyyyyyy, here’s to week three of puppy training. Chat GPT says it gets better by week 16-20. And the trainer says she considered an adult at six months. Hmmmmm. Hard to believe either of those things, but

Ok, I was interrupted again. Six hours later—-

We have had some successful potty sessions this afternoon, so that’s good!!!! Stella is learning to ring the bells hanging from the door so she can go out. So maybe she will be able to tell me before she has to go out??? That’s the plan! She walked towards the door at 3:15 today. While she didn’t ring the bell, she made the walk over near the door, so I rang the bell with her and took her out and she pooped!!

Slowly but surely Stella is making the connection. And if we can get her pottying outside only then I think I can handle anything else. I think.

Last night around 7:00 we decided to take Molly and her friend, Allie, to Bossy Beulah’s. Allie is visiting and Bossy Beulah’s is a CLT staple. The hot thigh chicken sandwich did not disappoint, according to Allie. We enjoyed our time out of the house and talking. On the way home, Molly asked us who was willing to bet there was poo in Stella’s playpen, where we decided to leave her as opposed to her crate that she had been in from 4:30-6:00.

I walk to the side door ready to unlock it and go in, and Rolo is standing there—of course. This is how I am usually greeted.

Imagine my surprise when Stella comes bee-bopping around the corner!! Free as a bird in my house for who knows how long. My heart stopped. I immediately spot the poop….I keep walking in shock and see some pee and more poop. It was like a (horror) movie. I could not believe she was out while we were gone. I scan the rest of the house and nothing seems out of place. I immediately grab paper towels and cleaner and get the messes up. AMAZINGLY, all the messes were on hardwood floors. And equally AMAZING is the fact that she did not take her puppy teeth and make any holes in my furniture or gnaw on the corner of my coffee table. Truly a miracle. Truly the only reason she is still under this roof. If she had ruined something, I am afraid the straw would have broken the camels back.

But here we are. Another morning of “go pee, go pee,” as I stand in 100 degree temps out back. Another morning of tossing out kibble one by one on the kitchen floor as she forages for food slowly so as not to regurgitate it. Another morning of training “sit,” “stay,” “come,” and “down.” Another morning of doubting all of my life’s decisions.

Oh, but how did she get out, you may be wondering. Well her little play pen has a tiny door. Molly brought the play pen downstairs for me. I sat Stella in the playpen by leaning over the gate and setting her down. Neither one of us checked to see if the gate was locked. She scooted the playpen away from the wall in all of her puppy shenanigans, and I suppose the door swung open for her since it was no longer up against the wall. A little escape artist.

Looking back I could see it on Rolo’s face when I met her at the door—”Where have you been? This little monster got out. I tried to tell her to get back in, but she wouldn’t listen to me. And someone needs to clean up the place. She has no manners.”

Cuteness is getting her far these days.

When we rode bikes through Zion National Park, I was overcome with its beauty. The vast mountains, the blue skies, the unique shrubbery. The streams we would catch glimpses of. So much to take in.

There were stretches of the ride when the sun beat down on us unmercifully. The heat out west is truly like an oven. I felt at times like my skin was baking off. I could feel the hardening of my crows feet as I squinted my eyes from the sun.

And then we would reach a bit of shade. The mountain would stretch high up to the sky, blocking the sun’s heat and bringing blessed relief from the elements. My eyes would relax and adjust to the shade. The beauty of the mountains and sky and landscape would be so pronounced and crisp. My skin would even feel cool.

These were my favorite parts of the path. I felt like I was in another world. A calm and quietness would settle over that whole section of the ride.

In life, we often feel the heat of our circumstances. The relentless worries, the frustrating people we can’t control, the anxiety of health issues, the fears that accompany change, and more can make us feel like we’re going to pass out from the elements God has put us in. We want relief. We want it now. We tire ourselves out trying to figure out how to solve the problem.

Josh and I have been in a season like this. And we are exhausted. In many ways I feel like a sponge that has been left in the sun—hard, useless, ineffective, tired, so very dry.

But I know even a few drops of water would revive an old sponge and make it useful again, filled to over flowing.

I read Isaiah 32 this morning:

1-2 “Behold a king will reign righteously and princes will rule justly. Each will be like a refuge from the wind and a shelter from the storm, like streams of water in a dry country, like the shade of a huge rock in a parched land.”

Even if on this earth God chooses to keep this area of concern that Josh and I have dry, one day He will rule and reign in righteousness. And He will be the spring of water that brings refreshment. He will be the shade of relief and safety. And of course He has done this for us as we spend time in His Word and in prayer and trusting Him with our circumstances. We have been refreshed in the Lord. But I long for the ultimate day of peace and life and joy!

It’s His reign.

It’s His righteousness that brings refreshment, shelter, growth, life and health. He brings the calm and quietness we long for. One day.

Isaiah 32: 15-18

“Until the Spirit is poured out upon us from on high, and the wilderness becomes a fertile field, and the fertile field is considered as a forest. Then justice will dwell in the wilderness and righteousness will abide in the fertile field. And the work of righteousness will be peace, and the service of righteousness, quietness and confidence forever. Then my people will live in a peaceful habitation, and in secure dwellings and in undisturbed resting places;”

May it be so! Even today.

Stella lives to fight another day here in the Dorminy home. But it was a close call.

I fed her and then put her in her crate so we could go to church. Molly came home after Sunday School to check in on her. And when I got home I saw some brown stuff in her crate. And some “muddy” paw prints on her mat in the crate. Immediately I start losing my mind. Assuming the brown stuff was poop, I begin declaring, “THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK!!! I’m giving her to another family. I cannot deal with poop in her crate.”

I felt defeated in the potty training and frustrated about the work. I immediately bathed the puppy. (I don’t call her by name when a wave of “I’m giving her away” rushes over me.) The puppy hates baths, so I held her down and bathed her anyway. Telling her if she would behave and not poop in her crate then all of this water would be unnecessary.

Fast forward about six hours. I let her eat again. She eats so fast. I went to get some laundry going and came back down to a pile of regurgitated dog food on the kitchen hardwoods. Yuck. The puppy (she still is about to be given away, so no name) starts eating it again. Double yuck.

I clean up the mess and then feel a sense of relief. The earlier incident wasn’t poop after all!!! It was regurgitated dog food that she stepped in most likely and re-ate. Dogs are gross some times.

Stella isn’t a crate-pooper after all. She is just an extremely fast eater. So she lives to fight another day. And Stella got her name back.

Stella also now gets hand-fed. Kibble by kibble. I even toss it across the kitchen floor to give her some excitement and exercise as she forages for her food.

I’m still very uncertain what came over me that morning I texted Helga that we would take the puppy. But for now, Stella can stay.

Ok, I may or may not be questioning all of my life decisions at this point. How does a 48 year old woman who has homeschooled for ten years, survived three kids through high school and is sitting on the brink of amazing freedom as the youngest moves away for college, end up sitting on the floor of her kitchen at 9:15 on a Thursday morning (with a few tears rolling down her face!?)?

I wish I knew. I wish there was a rewind button to be honest.

Adam, the trainer I called when I got home with this puppy and panicked, was so nice. Through our talking we realized we are both Christians. He has a couple of young kids and a wife. And at 10am on day two with this puppy I seriously typed out a text telling him to pray about taking this puppy off my hands. I didn’t hit send but the message sat there glaring back at me. I decided to give it more than 36 hours. But I still reserve the right to give this puppy away if things don’t get way better way soon!! Judge me if you so wish but omgoodnesssssss. I’m so unsure.

At least she is cute. And funny! (and at least the groomer comes today to clean her up!)

She had a vet appointment. Slept through most of it.

She likes her crate and has gone in on her own several times.

Rolo is very unsure of her which gives me major dog mommy guilt. She tolerates her and has snapped at her a few times to say, “get away from me you little bundle of energy.”

I still let Rolo know she is my first fur baby. And I keep Stella out of Rolo’s space. Last night we had a win—Stella was asleep on the couch and Rolo came up to be with us. They were touching at one point and no one lost their mind.

I look a mess because I am a mess. Physically and emotionally and mentally at this point.

Will Stella survive another day? The ball is in her court.

We picked this cutie up today! We drove to Hendersonville to meet Helga and pick her up. She was very chill the whole drive. I was super nervous about introducing her to Rolo. Rolo barked and barked at her until we took them on a walk —sort of —together; Rolo was still unsure but not as feisty.

We came inside and put Stella in the kitchen separated from Rolo. Rolo seemed unbothered by her presence and very unimpressed with her.

They both went out and Rolo ran towards her and then would stop and turn a different direction when she got dangerously close to Stella. I suppose she was just showing her who is boss around here.

Stella pooped and peed on the hardwoods when I was distracted for a quick minute. I’ve been taking her out every 20-30 minutes and she hasn’t peed in four hours plus!!! She’s napping now. I’ll try again and hope for the best because we need a calm night. Wish me luck!