Author: kdorminy

Though I’ve finally gotten a handle on the literal unpacking from our beach trip, there are still spiritual bags to unpack. “Brushes with God change us,” as Sara Hagerty writes in her latest book, The Gift of Limitations: finding beauty in your boundaries. These moments are worth looking back on. I share them in hopes of encouraging you in your own walk with the Lord.

The message of Sara’s book hit so close to home. I, too, have been on a journey of embracing my own limitations, of bumping up against my own boundary lines. Each time this happens, I’m graciously met with the presence of God. His rod and staff, guiding me. In conjunction with reading this book, I was also reading Psalm 139 each morning—prompted by the Lord to do this, a brush with God I didn’t recognize until I was at the beach.

On Tuesday morning when I “sat on the steps of my soul in the deep place where nobody goes,” as Jill Briscoe so beautifully puts it, my mind was drawn to the subtitle of Psalm 139 in my Bible —“God’s Omnipresence and Omniscience.” He is everywhere and knows all things. And quite the opposite is true of me. I sat in one little bedroom in a beach house on the coast of South Carolina. I know so very little.

Verses 4-6 particularly has my attention.

Even before there is a word on my tongue, Behold, O Lord, You know it all. You have enclosed me behind and before and laid Your hand upon me [my words:do you hear the boundaries around you that is God Himself?). Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is too high, I cannot attain to it.”

I’ve read these words many times before, but more than ever I saw His limitlessness. And I saw my limitedness.

The theme of Sara’s book helped me consider afresh the comfort I can experience when I acknowledge and rest in my limits. Not trying to fight for more or struggle to be more, do more. But instead to take a moment and thank God for the boundaries He has put around my life. As Sarah wrote, “God often gives us limits to grow us.”

Like a seed, limited and confined to its shell, it must surrender in death, buried in the soil, dependent on what only God can do, before there is life and fruit again.

John 12:24 “Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”

Praying that we can be grateful for our limitations and be drawn closer to our limitless God. He is all we need. Why would we try to jump our God-given fence or move our God-given boundary lines in our own strength?

“The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You support my lot. The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; Indeed my heritage is beautiful to me. I will bless the Lord who has counseled me; Indeed my mind instructs me in the night. I have set the Lord continually before me; Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad and my glory rejoices; my flesh also will dwell securely. For You will not abandon my soul to Sheol; Nor will You allow Your Holy One to undergo decay.

You will make known to me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.”

Psalm 16:5–11

How about a few photos of our Spring Break trip? It was such a fun week on Edisto Island with Ruby, Molly and some of their awesome college friends! Knowing the girls were going to be gone all summer and we wouldn’t be able to have a family vacation, I thought Spring Break would be a great time to get away. Josh and Mack got to join us for the second half, which was a blessing.

And these young adults were so fun and so enjoyable to be around. They seemed to have a great time. I know I did!

Some of the best times were around the table while we ate together.

We had Mexican one night. We ordered pizza another night and had lasagna and Caesar salad one evening. They went out a couple of times. And we grilled hamburgers and hot dogs. There were lots of eggs for breakfast. One morning included pancakes and bacon. Most mornings everyone made their own breakfast. I did manage to cook some sausage balls while we were there too! Lots and lots of food. And lots of talking. I loved learning more about each one of them and watching them interact. They were a great group and I loved being with them!

Many days were spent at the beach, which is my most favorite thing ever in the world.

More pictures and blogs to come as I keep unpacking but there’s no one else I’d rather be living this life with than Josh. He is so generous to let me make this reservation and get all these folks under one roof. He is just the best. I love him so! (Even though he says we won’t be retiring at the beach one day.🤣)

Unpacking from the beach involves dirty clothes, putting away bathing suits and beach towels, and, for me anyway, washing and drying the plethora of seashells I gathered as I strolled the morning shore.

After the kindness of the Lord this week, I also want to unpack all that I gleaned from my time with Him.

A week at the beach holds many opportunities to pay attention to the Lord in ways much different than home in the city of Charlotte where days are filled with responsibilities and daily troubles. Sometimes a new location heightens your sensitivities.

I sensed the Lord wanting me to read Psalm 139 each day of my trip, so that was my plan. But on the first morning, before I could get to the familiar chapter, I was captured by an article entitled, “Am I a Quarrelsome Wife?” I read through the article, feeling quite convicted. Then, this sentence stopped me—“And Gillian stood in the middle of it all, unhappily carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.” And then this addition, “…her presence an inhospitable place.”

Ouch.

During my morning walk, I asked God to forgive me for being so ridiculous to think I could carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, yet confessing it oftentimes all feels like a bit much. But He is the only One able to carry the world, of this much I know in my head. I just feel like He may be too busy so I must carry my little world on my shoulders in the meantime.

This attitude has tainted my good intentions far too many times when I have meant well and wanted to serve and help and plan….and also desired recognition for my hard work and I wanted appreciation…lots and lots of appreciation. To live with someone like this—who feels like they’re doing it all (I’m not tho. Not even close) and is bitter about it (I sometimes am), can be as confusing as a spring day when the sun is shining and warm, then it is hidden by clouds and the air is chilly and harsh. So confusing and frustrating.

I had some dialogue with God:

O, Lord, forgive me for “curving life in on myself.” I am asking You to make me into a reverent, gentle, thoughtful, grateful, hopeful, generous woman of God. I do sense in many ways I’ve embraced my limitations, my fence, my boundary lines. It’s been quite the journey to get here. I am Josh’s wife—supporting him and enabling him to soar in work and at home. I’m Ruby, Molly and Mack’s mom—giving up pursuing any outside career for pouring myself into motherhood and home. I’ve accepted the truth that you cannot have it all, despite what our culture says. Someone has had to think about what’s for dinner every night for 23+ years and that someone has been me.

I sensed a few thoughts from God: Don’t resent this. Be humbled and honored that you’ve been the leader of some of the most important building blocks of your family. Dinner time feeds more than bellies.

Lord, make me a grateful woman.

Then, as I was walking back towards the beach house, I started humming, “He’s got the whole world in His hands; He’s got the whole world in His hands….”, and I felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders.

He is limitless. I am limited. He knows all. I don’t. There’s freedom to be had when we walk in these truths and don’t feel like we have to have it all figured out. He’s got it all in His hands. We can rest like a child in His lap.

Conversation is defined as “a talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged.”

Have you ever been with someone and never had a chance to speak?

I mean, I’m all for being a good listener and asking good questions. But being with someone, say, on a walk or over coffee, and assuming their life isn’t falling apart, wherein it’s ok if they just vent the whole time, then wouldn’t it NOT be a conversation if you never get to say a word? It would at least be extremely one-sided. The person who has listened and never had a chance to speak into the conversation would likely feel lonely and even odd as they leave the time wondering—what just happened?

This idea came to me as I heard lyrics from a song about prayer:

“Spirit I will wait on You. In silence I am listening. For what’s a conversation if You have no time to speak? So Lord I will be still for You made my souls to rest. And there you give me pictures of the wonders up ahead.”

I was reminded that silence and listening are both vital to conversing with God. So often we just say what we need to say or, as I recently read, “We worry in the general direction of God” and then go on our merry way. But what about listening? What about leaning in to ask, “What would you like to say to me, God?”

I did that this afternoon and clearly I knew to turn to Psalm 139. Such a word from God to me.

Kristy, I made you. I formed you in your mother’s womb. Yes, your mother who is no longer with you on earth. I am before you, behind you, and My hand is on your life. I am with you always and everywhere. No matter how dark the world seems, with Me there is light. There’s been a lot of death from wars and disease and even young people you know—remember, in My book were written all the days that were ordained for you. Even before there was one of them! You can trust Me. I will lead you in the everlasting way. Stay close to Me. Don’t run from Me. Lean in and trust.

I share this to encourage you to pour out your heart to God. He hears! AND to listen. His voice is precious. His Word is a treasure. Search it. Find what He is saying to you today. 💗

The year is just ticking along! I cannot believe we are nearing the end of February. If I’m honest, I’d hoped the year would be restful and calm, but that has not been true at all. Life is full. There have been fun moments and there have been hard moments. There are so many teaching moments with our kids. I’m not sure if we are getting old and running out of energy for this or if we feel this crunch on time as we feel our window of training is quickly closing for each of the kids. But these life lesson talks exhaust me. There are so many things I feel like they should have gotten by now.

And truth be told, I feel the same way about my own self. So many moments lately that I am disappointed in my response or frustrated with my lack of self control or baffled that I still struggle in the same area. I think, “Shouldn’t I have gotten this by now?!?!!??”

When I was talking with The Lord about a failure of mine just this morning, I sensed Him say to my heart—“You are forgiven.” It was so sweet to feel His forgiveness. To roll those words over my heart and mind and to sit in His love. He’s not shaking His head at me. He’s not berating me with sarcastic words. He isn’t put out with me. He is steady and strong and forgiving. He doesn’t run away from me and all my issues. I’m so grateful.

So as this year rocks along, I hope I’ll be aware of God’s grace and patience with me. And in turn, I hope I will give my kids more grace and patience. That’s usually how it works.

So how about some photos and videos of the last few weeks?

We put out nearly 25 yards of mulch and it about killed my back.

Speaking of my back—I am still working out and proud of my consistency and progress!

I take way too many photos of Rolo. We love her to pieces.

I was so glad to see them. And sad to see them go. It was just too rushed. But spring break is almost here!!! Super excited for some beach time with them and some of their friends.

Ok, that’s all I’ve got for this little February update. Hope you’re enjoying life wherever you are! ❤️

Josh and I celebrated 23 years of marriage on January 27, 2024. We enjoyed time together and a nice dinner at Steak 48. We took a trip down memory lane when I read our 20th anniversary post here:

https://kristydorminy.com/2021/01/27/20-years/?amp=1

We did a little updating and adding a word for each year to catch us up to 2024. It was fun and pretty easy to boil the years down to their own word.

Anniversary words

2021––SEARCHING (for university for ruby, for answers to Mack’s health issues and a new school for him, for the truth about Covid and vaccines as Josh got very sick with it, for sanity bc the world seemed to have gone mad)

2022––CHANGE and INDEPENDENCE (Ruby graduated and left home for college, Mack started new school by himself, & Molly started her senior year without siblings)

2023–– SPIRITUAL WARFARE—(personal parenting challenges as we helped teens navigate a big, scary world, Josh serving on our Pastor Search Team for most of the year and feeling like we were in a battle for the future of our church…words aren’t enough to convey the heaviness of this year)

2024–to be determined!

I’m so grateful for our marriage. It is such a gift. I pray for 60+ more years with Josh.

And just in case anyone thinks sticking with one person for many years is boring or lacks in excitement and intimacy—-that’s a big lie. The way the years build and how you get to know one another and forge an amazing friendship is something special. Very special. Keep going!!!

The girls left this morning to head back to Liberty. They were excited to go and get back into their routine and see all of their friends. The start of a new semester is always a fun time.

Many people ask how I do with them leaving. And I have to say—It’s kind of tricky to answer succinctly. If I’m brutally honest, I am happy for them and I am happy for me. It’s a natural season of life that kids leave the home—whether college or marriage or a career. If they wanted to just stay here, we would have a problem.

As a mom, it’s nice to be needed.

Aaaannnnnd—it’s nice to not be needed. Ya know?

For some moms, my “happy to see them go” attitude will be mortifying. But if I share the truth, then maybe another set of moms won’t feel so alone in being “happy to see them go.” I am always happy to see them come home—don’t get me wrong. It’s just time for them to get back into their own little worlds and do all the quirky things they like to do. It’s time for them to use their own washer and dryer and eat on their own schedule. To stay up late in their own living quarters. Among other things.

And let me be clear—the feeling is mutual. These girlies were ready. And I’m proud of them flying out there in the world, maturing and growing and learning so very much about how to take care of themselves. It’s going to be a great semester!! Second semester for Molly and Fourth semester for Ruby!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

On one of our end of the year walks, Josh and I were discussing the New Year and any words or goals we wanted to focus on. I wasn’t sure I had any major re-hauls for my life to tackle and a word for the year wasn’t coming to me, so I threw out the word “endure.” I felt a bit like—I think I just need to keep on keeping on. But Josh challenged me to welcome a mind shift and choose a word like “pursue”—a going after something vs. staying under something. We have been in an enduring season for like 6 years😵‍💫

I’ve given it some thought and think he is right. Yet I shrink back from thinking I can do something big or significant. I’ve actually been on quite the journey (ie. 23 years as wife and 19 years as mom) of learning to value a hidden life and to have God’s perspective on the mundane, boring but necessary, seemingly small things a mom has to do. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, picking up drycleaning, feeding the dog, cleaning toilets, making doctor appointments, training kids, etc….over and over and over again for over twenty years. So the shift to actually pursuing something big is leaving me wondering what exactly that looks like.

So when I read John 15 on New Year’s Day, I was greatly helped. Jesus is speaking:

“I am the vine; you are the branches. He who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”

“My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be My disciples.”

“If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love.”

“This I command you, that you love one another.”

The answer to ‘what do I pursue’ became crystal clear to me. Instead of wondering if I should pursue going back to school, pursue getting a job, pursue looking for something big to pursue or any other thing like that, I am to pursue Him.

Pursue God. Pursue People. That was my answer.

How exactly do I do that? Well, His Word reminded me that staying near to God, connected to Him happens through reading His Word, confessing my sins, praying, worshiping Him, staying sensitive to the Spirit of God in my life. This is what brings much fruit and glorifies God. I was reminded that loving people brings God glory, too. So what better way to invest my energy than abiding in Christ and living by the Spirit, which should produce a love for people.

Maybe you’ve felt some pressure to come up with a grandiose New Year’s resolution or some goal. I’d like to give you permission to simply stay connected to Jesus. He will take care of the fruit. He will let you know if there’s something big to do….and He may just help you see that a lot of the small things are indeed the big things.

Happy New Year!

Words fall short to express what an amazing little getaway Josh and I got to have to end the year. Travelers Rest, SC is a hidden gem! This past summer, in the thick of a stressful time, I decided we needed a getaway, and I made this reservation almost on a whim. I perused Airbnb and happened to find this new spot—a cool treehouse tucked away in the woods. So private and serene, but minutes away from the cutest little town filled with shops and an amazing trail, the Swamp Rabbit Trail. At the time I clicked on “reserve these dates,” I had no idea how much we would need to get out of town. It has been such a sweet few days. The Lord provided, and we are grateful.

We have rested. We have read. We have talked. We have shopped for our home. We have walked so many miles on the trail. We visited Greenville. We have eaten some great food. (Josh learned I’m not a fan of crepes.) We have dreamed together. We’ve planned. We’ve prayed. We have connected and unplugged from distractions. We journaled. We laughed. We sat on the porch in silence and listened to nature. We star gazed right from the little home. Sweet memories were made.

Thank You, Lord, for providing just what we needed. You always do. These two travelers feel rested and refreshed for all You have for us.

Well, I just finished up my sixth year of showing up consistently at my gym. Six years. 72 months. 313 weeks.

There were hard days. Very hard days. There are still hard days, if I’m honest. But I can’t fully express how deeply grateful I am for my health. The past six years have been filled with a lot of ups and downs and so many challenges in my personal life, in family life, in raising three teenagers, in sending kids off to college, and more. I won’t even mention perimenopause and the rollercoaster it has been.

Here’s the thing though—all the challenges would still have been present. The six years, the 72 months, the 313 weeks all would have passed whether I was working out or not. So I’m extremely happy that I made the hard decision to keep showing up. It’s actually not hard to show up anymore. It might even be the easiest part of my week. Showing up is, by far, what has kept me going. I have a time and place and plan when I get there. Tim has been so helpful in challenging me at appropriate levels that kept me going and didn’t let me settle.

But I think the biggest mental shift and help has been coming to grasps with the fact that there is no finish line. Too often we think “when I lose 20 pounds, then I can be happy.” Or maybe we think once we get strong then we can just coast. But that’s not helpful—because moving my body doesn’t have a finish a line. Benefiting from strength will last my whole life!

So here’s to six years and many, many more—Lord-willing!!