I remember listening to an Advent podcast a couple of weeks back. The host was reminding us not to be distracted and to be sure to keep Jesus at the center of everything. I agree with this sentiment, 100%. However, I find it wildly unrealistic. Can I say that?
This is coming from a 47 year old lady who wakes up early and spends time with Jesus every morning. I read the Word. I pray. I study my Bible. I go to church. I realize the reason for the season is Jesus. It’s just that this time of year (these three weeks leading up to Christmas in particular) is anything but quaint and peaceful and full of reflection.
There are gifts to buy. And these kids aren’t asking for a baby doll or a bike anymore. They also all have vehicles so Christmas break is for car service appointments which are no fun and lots of money. We have parties to attend. Co-workers to think of. Outreach events to help those less fortunate. Menus to consider. Traditions to uphold…who else is going to make the punch the kids always ask for? Travel plans to incorporate. Christmas family photo to take so we can order Christmas cards so we can find our address list and hope no one has moved and try to find Christmas stamps, but have to be ok with American flags instead. As Josh said, “No one cares.” Not to mention all of the opinions and schedules and desires and emotions of three mostly grown children. Some siblings will always bicker, no matter their age. And someone always gets sick. You’d think I would plan better for these very predictable hiccups in the break after all these years. Yet I am usually caught scrambling for chicken noodle soup and crackers and pain medicine and where in the world is that tele-doc number????
Big sigh.
These are all very true things that happened under our roof. I even had to skip the stockings this year. Not only because all of their gifts cost a plenty this year, but I just ran out of the creative energy needed to fill them up with useful and personal and fun things. I forewarned them all and said I would try again next year.
Yet, amid all of this, I found myself crying through the entire service on Christmas Eve. The music was deeply moving. All reminders of the Truth of Christmas— God came to be with us. There is no other God than Him who sent His Son to be the sacrifice for our sins so we could spend eternity with Him, heirs with Christ. Almost unbelievable. But I know Him. He is good and gracious and merciful and kind and patient and loving. My Redeemer. My Friend. Immanuel. God with me! I saw the families all around me with their little kids squirming and excited for Christmas. It took me back to Woodstock, Ga where we sat in many an Eve service with our three little ones squirming and squealing and excited for all to come. I glanced up front from where Josh and I were sitting (it was super crowded in this church so we didn’t get to sit together), and I spotted the back of Ruby and Mack sitting together and Molly right in front of them. Mostly young adults with their own walk with God. They weren’t squirming or squealing, though they were excited for all to come. As were Josh and I. But for such deeper reasons after all these years. Our kids have grown up and matured…and so have we in so many ways. And still we have so far to go, but I took a moment to reflect on our growth as individuals, as a couple and as a family. God has indeed been with us. It’s not been an easy path, but He has made our way straight. His presence has made all the difference. So I cried. I thanked God for His presence and thanked Him for saving me and keeping me. A merry Christmas indeed.
This calendar is one we have used for about 20 years! The kids love it and there is usually a fight about who gets to put baby Jesus in the manger on the 24th. Ruby has succeeded in being the one to do it for 90% of the Christmas Eves, but this year someone else snuck and did it before her. Even after all these years, that did not go over well. But I do love this tradition.
I also have a photo book that I have somehow managed to put a photo of the kids on Christmas morning in every single year. As the years have passed, I added our Christmas Eve service photo and our Christmas card along with the kids by the tree every morning. I haven’t done much of anything else very consistently, so I am proud of myself for keeping up with this (very not fancy) book.
I hope everyone of you also had a Merry Christmas celebrating Jesus!
(Our Christmas stuff is already put away. I think I have a problem, but I cannot seem to take the decorations any longer than necessary…I probably need therapy. Or at least my kids will likely end up talking about this in a therapy session of their own one day…..sorry about that, Kids.)
