May is quite a month, isn’t it? And though it hasn’t seemed as stressful or full since my kids aren’t in regular school anymore, I have batted away a cloud of sadness that seems to want to settle over me. A real “down” attitude is attempting to make itself at home, and I don’t want anything to do with it. I have too many wonderful things going on right now—important work to do in my home, Mack is home this summer, my girls are graduating college in a couple of days and starting amazing internships, and on and on. So I took some time to try and deal with the source of the blues.
First of all, there is Mother’s Day. And while Josh and the kids have always been so sweet on this day year after year, I am not a fan of Mother’s Day. I am not sure why, but I also know I am not alone in this line of thinking. But more than my personal feelings about the day, there’s the fact that I no longer have a mom here to buy a gift for or send a card to or tell her how much I appreciate all she did for me and how much she means to me. Add to that the way she died, and it’s a mix of emotions no one reading this is ready for.
Trust me on that.
My mom’s birthday is May 12–that’s today. She would be 71 years old.
Then, May 20 is when she died, sending shock and confusion through every vein of our family. As many have said, “Suicide does not end pain; it only passes it on to those left behind.” So this date, this time of year, awakens something in my mind and body that I wish would just stay quiet. It’s a triple whammie of dates that won’t be ignored.
Good thing I am in the book of Ruth and reminded of God’s very good plans even when our lives are affected by tragedy and loss and uncertainty. Even when our families change forever, like Naomi and Ruth’s family. The “night” comes, but so does the morning.
Naomi heard about Ruth’s day of gleaning in Boaz’s field, sees how he took care of them, and remembers he is a close relative. She gives Ruth instructions for letting Boaz know she needs a redeemer, as God had set up in the rules years before. God put provision in the Mosaic Law—the widow was to marry a brother and their firstborn would carry the dead brother’s name. Ruth chose to commit herself to the God of Israel, so she followed through with Naomi’s instructions and trusted God’s provision.
Ruth goes to Boaz in the night, lays herself at his feet and then asks for his covering. Basically asking him to marry her and take care of her and Naomi.
Boaz is not put off by her way of approaching him. He actually says he will do for her all that she asked! But there’s one major hurdle—there’s a closer relative, so Boaz has to offer the land (and Ruth) to him first. “Remain tonight, and in the morning, if he will redeem you, good; let him do it. But if he is not willing to redeem you, then, as the Lord lives, I will redeem you. Lie down until the morning. So she lay at his feet until the morning….”
Ruth waited in the dark, in uncertainty, in silence. She couldn’t resolve this on her own. She actually had nothing to do at this point but wait. Boaz could be trusted though. He was a man of integrity and was going to be sure to settle the matter the right way. Yet, I am sure the waiting was not easy for Ruth. She had thrown herself at Boaz’s feet and asked a vulnerable question and then had to wait for an answer, for resolution, for next steps.
The night was real, but it was temporary.
This is true for whatever darkness you may be sitting in. Maybe there’s a situation in your life where uncertainty lingers. You don’t know how it’s going to turn out! You’ve been tasked with waiting. Can you wait with hope because you know God’s amazing care for you? Do you believe that God is working while you rest in Him? Naomi, ironically, is the one who speaks hopefully in Ruth 3:18. “Wait, my daughter, until you learn how the matter turns out, for the man will not rest, but will settle the matter today.”
This song has underscored this truth for me. The Lord’s mercies are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness. I can trust Him in whatever waiting season I am in, no matter how long. The Lord will settle the matter.